Whenever you find yourself in a situation where someone isn’t going along with the good ideas you have, or indeed: buying in to your offer, you need to ask yourself:
Are the two of you trading in incompatible currencies?
Because if you are, and you’re not aware of it, you’ll go nowhere real fast with that person.
For example:
A husband comes home to find his wife distressed and upset. Oops… something’s happened.
He sits down, listens to her troubles, and starts thinking of ways to help, to improve the situation, to fix things for her.
Useful, no? Girl’s got a problem, let’s help. Let’s fix this!
Except his wife grows increasingly frustrated and upset.
Until finally the whole conversation disintegrates: he ends up frustrated because she doesn’t seem to want his help, and she’s upset because ‘he just never listens’ to her.
In such a situation, the ‘currency’ she’s hoping for, is someone who listens and who gives her space to vent, so she can clear her head, get some clarity, and not feel alone in her troubles.
At that stage, she’s not looking for a solution, but instead she just wants him to be present.
He on the other hand, is trying to ‘pay’ a different kind of currency, in the form of quality problem-solving.
But that’s not what she wants – and so we end up with incompatible currencies.
This kind of problem arises when we interpret the other person’s situation, conclude that we know what they want, and proceed to try and give it to them.
And in that interpreting and concluding, we often break a sale.
A client might say: “I want a website with custom branding and e-commerce built in”, and on the surface that seems straightforward enough.
But below the surface, they might want different things, like:
‘A site that works, doesn’t break, and that’s easy to manage and update’.
Or: ‘A site that enables me to earn more from the traffic I’m getting’.
Or: ‘An online presence that I’m proud of’.
You can’t know what’s behind the obvious or surface-level issue – and even when you ask, you’ll only learn what they tell you, which may or may not be the complete picture.
So if you then go answer – and try to fulfill – the surface-level wishes, you likely speak to something that isn’t the real, true, deeper desire… and you might lose the client.
Whenever you try to help someone, serve someone, or try and do something in order to solve a problem for someone… but they’re not having any of it?
Very likely, you’re trying to trade in incompatible currencies.
Your job then is to figure out what it is that the other person actually wants.
That’s how you move forward with people, and yes: that’s how you get your work picked up and sold.
More about that right here, if you want to close more of the opportunities in your business 👉 http://martinstellar.com/helping-good-people-sell-more-and-generate-a-bigger-impact/
Cheers,
Martin
