Funny how much the subconscious decides what we do and where we go.
Or in some cases: not so funny at all.
For example, when you have a big dream, a wonderfully big ambition, and for some reason you just can’t seem to get it to become real.
Why is that?
Well, every case is different, but a very common obstacle is the unconscious belief that if you do succeed, you’d betray someone from your past – often a parent or sibling, but it can even be someone from before then.
In family constellation therapy, this is called ‘destructive loyalties’, and an example is this:
Imagine that in your family, nobody in recent history ever built a successful business.
Most people never even tried, and those who did either failed, or played small and didn’t grow, or threw in the towel.
You grow up with the (subconscious) notion that this is simply how my family is.
“In our lineage, we’re just not good at being in business”.
Of course your mind knows that this doesn’t have to be true for you, but the problem is that your mind isn’t the boss – it’s your subconscious that drives your life.
(Which is why it’s so incredibly important to learn how your mind works, and train yourself to steer it in the right directions – because your mind DOES steer and influence your subconscious, and tells it what to believe in, after which the subconscious dutifully controls your life based on the beliefs you fed it.)
Anyway, if ‘our family sucks at business’ lives in your subconscious, for you to suddenly be the first to become successful means that you’d radically break tradition.
And that could be perceived by your subconscious as a gross act of disloyalty – and you’re not supposed to be disloyal, and so, the subconscious makes sure it’ll sabotage any effort to actually build a nice and thriving business.
Another example is a family that never had any sizeable wealth.
Always been nice, humble, ‘getting by ok’ people, the whole known lineage.
For you then to up and create wealth for yourself, well that would be betrayal of family tradition, right? (not for your mind, but for your subconscious).
Yes, the mind works in weird and wonderful ways.
So. If any of this resonates with you, I invite you to ask yourself:
Who (or what) would I betray if I succeed? If I reach my goals?
What tradition would I break with?
Remember that this can be someone outside your family as well, for example a teacher who persuaded you that you’ll never amount to nothing, and had a big influence on you.
If that happens at a young age, you can be subconsciously loyal to him or her as well.
So, some exploring, if you think this might be at play for you?
Ask: Who would I betray if I succeed?
When you have the answer, let me know.
We can talk (no cost, short and laser-focused session) and I’ll try and help you break out of the rut.