Month: October 2017

The gent who used to be my abbot has a saying: “Life is made up out of choices”.

Which is so self-evident, it might as well go without saying.

Except that in many cases, we make decisions that don’t serve us (or others).

In which case it makes a lot of sense to stop and consider what the decisions we make actually are.

Learn more when sales are lacking? Might not be the best choice.

Unless you don’t know how to find prospects and create clients. In such a case, it makes more sense to learn more about psychology and communication (which is what sales are made of – pushiness not required or appreciated).

Other examples: Fritter away time on social media, thinking that we’re ‘networking’ when in reality we’re having random conversations that have nothing to do with the actual work we’d like people to buy. In such a case, it’s a useful decision to “only engage in conversations where I get to help people and demonstrate the value of my work”.

Or, here’s a decision that I tend to fall prey to: get involved with projects and people because I see a chance for future payoff… when in reality it means a long-term investment of time, without any guarantee whatsoever.

So, to cut through the clutter and make decision making easier, try this:

First, ask yourself what is your ultimate, most important goal.

Very likely, this will be big and seemingly impossible to achieve.

If so, break it down into milestones.

If your ultimate goal is, say, “Buy a villa and start an academy”, you can’t get there from here.

But if you break it down into steps, one of the milestones will be “create 1000 true fans”.

Far more attainable, right? But still big.

So, break it down further: “Create 100 clients”.

Easy? Maybe not. Doable? Of course.

Ok, so your first ‘most important’ goal is 100 clients. Check.

Next, the fun part: decision making.

Use the goal as a benchmark for your decision.

With every opportunity, activity, task, or project, ask yourself:

Does this directly contribute, in a measurable way, to reaching my 100-client goal?

If so, go for it, and go all in.

If it doesn’t?

Then I challenge you to boldly say no.

Because when you choose various things that are interesting but don’t directly contribute, you’ll disperse your energy, you’ll see little progress, and you’ll end up frustrated. Or worse: you might end up feeling you’ve failed.

And failing is not an option or a reality.

One person will close bankruptcy a failure… where another will call it a priceless learning experience.

And you get to – wait for it – choose how you perceive things.

Because yes: life is made up out of choices.

And I’d take it one step further: everything is a choice. Even not making one.

So… what can you eliminate, in order to have every task, conversation and project… be aligned 100% with your primary goal?

Let me know if you want to talk and create clarity on making the best choices.

Cheers,

​Martin

There’s an interesting phenomenon here in Spain – or at least, in the Andalusia area where I live.

And it’s a phenonemon that clearly spells the difference between who will go places, and those who will very likely stay stuck.

The difference is in accepting the status quo. Settling for. Resigning to what is.

When the economy started to fall a few years ago, I was amazed to see how flat so many people were.

Flat as in: resigned, overcome, powerless.

“Well of course business is bad. The economy is in the tank. We just have to wait for it to fix itself again. It always does”.

And yes, in the end there’s always ups and downs. A downturn never lasts.

But why on earth would you just resign to it and wait?

Don’t these people know that if a) you make smart decisions and b) you take massive action, you can actually solve problems?

In a sense, it’s one of the charms of the culture here: a non-stressed, accepting, why-bother-getting-mad attitude.

It’s one of the reasons I like this area so much. It’s free of pretence and there’s tons of genuinely wonderful people here.

But many of those people are still in trouble. Many companies are closing down. Houses and cars get repossessed.

And the only thing people in those situations need, is a simple shift in thinking.

A shift to “Yes, I can take action to fix this”, instead of “It’s an external problem, I need to wait”.

This difference, between those who resign and those who get busy, is important.

And you get to choose which side you’re on.

Me, I know where I stand. I’m the kind who takes action.

And this is why when selecting who I should or shouldn’t work with, I look for the markers.

Is this person switched on? Taking action? Looking for ways out, or forward? Willing to discard dysfunctional self-talk?

Because unless someone fits that kind of profile, I can’t coach them.

Coaching isn’t magic, and even the best coach in the world couldn’t help someone who isn’t coachable.

Maybe there’s no difference between Andalusia and other parts of the world, where it comes to the percentage of people who believe that patience is the only solution.

Even so, I’ve given up trying to tell others that yes, there is a way out.

Someone who is stuck in that kind of thinking isn’t going to listen to reason.

The only thing that can possibly help, is to lead by example.

Because when you try to explain and convince, you’re battling somebody else’s reason. And reason is smart, it will always find a way to argue its way to being right.

Much better to simply show what can be done – because you can’t argue with results.

But, maybe you don’t need no convincing. Maybe you already know that smart decisions and massive action will work.

If that’s the case for you and you want to be sure you make the right decisions and take the right actions, that’s when you talk to a coach. Hello.

Just reach out if ‘n when you’re ready.

Cheers,

​Martin

A couple of weeks ago, the girls in the Cabal coaching group came up with an idea: what if we all read the same book at the same time?

I thought it was an excellent idea, so I suggested The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

A brilliant book, and highly recommended.

One of Hendricks’ core concepts is what he calls the Upper Limit Problem.

Which works like a thermostat of sorts: it’s a maximum level that we have set in our subconscious – for wealth, happiness, fullfilment… it can be anything.

And, if that thermostat is set too low, there’s a good chance that as we reach that (arbitrary and false) upper limit, we start sabotaging ourselves.

Just so that we don’t go above or beyond what we subconsciously believe is the maximum allotted to us.

And as is to be expected: within a few days, Upper Limit Problems started to show up.

And not just for the girls:

I too have my own upper limit problems.

So I asked my coach about it, and it quickly became clear where my own upper limit originated.

So many experiences in my childhood, where I’d be ‘put in my place’ by authority figures.

Teachers saying that I might as well drop out of school since I’d never graduate anyway.

Another teacher bullying me in front of the classroom, telling me and them that I’ll never amount to much.

My dad, even: “Hey do you see those chords Paul Simon is playing? I know I can play that song too!”

“Son, I wish you’d focus on getting better grades instead”.

Gee, thanks dad.

Now, I’m not saying this to elicit your sympathy. I’m no different from others, and we all have our upper limit problems.

The question is – to quote Paul Simon – what are you going to do about it, that’s what I’d like to know.

For me, the solution is simple:

To forget about me.

Because in the end, the upper limit problem I have is about me. The feelings I have, the subconscious convictions, the limiting experiences from the past… me me me.

And that just won’t do.

Because as anyone with some sense and some ethics will tell you, life gets better the more you make it about someone else.

And for me to navelgaze and be involved in my own problems and limitations… well, that just won’t help anyone.

Instead, I turn the Martin-now, with his insecurities and upper limit thermostat setting and everything, into a baseline state.

This, today, me, is the new normal.

And so from this new normal, what do I want to create?

What can I do or say that isn’t about me?

This:

Each of us, we have some sort of upper limit. You too.

And the more you run into it, and get annoyed by it, the more energy and power you have at your disposal in order to run right past them.

Make your work and your life about the other, and you will benefit automatically, and so will the other person.

AND you’ll be running right past your upper limits.

Want me to run along with you?

Then all you need to do is get in touch…

Cheers,

​Martin

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut, and the tools and attitudes you have at your disposal for dealing with life and work are ‘just not right’?

Well, then why not wear a different suit?

After all, we’re the ones who get to chose how we show up in the world. Today, this afternoon, tomorrow… at any moment, we get to decide how we will be.

Most of the time though, we simply default to what we’re used to.

But you get to choose, you know?

It’s like wearing a suit. You can wear the suit of the warrior, or the worrier, or the helper, or the victim, or the creator, or the spiritually minded, or the CEO…

All these are actual and chooseable attitudes, and each of these will bring its own unique consequence in your day.

And that way you can steer your life and day and business in a specific reaction.

But only if you’re deliberate about it. Only if you choose.

Which many people simply don’t.

We default to what we’re used to – be that the worrier or the chief or the confused puppy or whatever.

But for every not-positive attitude that you might ‘suffer from’, there’s another one that works around that. And all you need to do is choose.

If your default is to worry, then why not wear the suit of massive action? Good chance that being hard at work will reduce your worries. Or at least take your mind off them.

If your default is to be confused and indecisive, then maybe more learning will help.

If your default is to be indecisive despite having learned so much, then maybe the berserker suit will help you: make a choice however arbitrary, and then run with it.

If your default is to think top-level and not get into action, then maybe the worker’s cover-alls are what you need to wear.

If your default is to fret when money is low, then why not wear the suit of the salesperson (where I must note that ‘selling’ is not a matter of being pushy, but of connecting with people, and inviting the right people to buy. In case ‘selling’ would cause you to wrinkle your nose etc. We all like it when people buy our stuff, and when we’re not pushy, people tend to like buying from us).

If your default is to blame others, what would happen if you wear the suit of responsibility (i.e. “I’m the one to make change, I own the situation, I’m taking charge of what I can do and I’m going to bypass whatever someone else did or didn’t do”).

If your default is to observe others and feel like you got the short end of the stick, then maybe wear the suit that says “I’ll act as if, and do the work to get to the other person’s level”.

What matters is this: we’re all used to going with a default attitude.

So when you notice things ain’t working or running smoothly, ask yourself:

As who am I showing up? What suit am I wearing here?

Next, realise that you can wear any suit you want. Remember, we’re talking about attitude here. Attitude is something you can adopt, experiment with, and get better at.

Finally, pick a suit – an attitude – that will move you forward.

Don that sucker, and wear it with pride.

And watch how your state and day and results change, the more you practice this exercise.

Sounds like fun, right?

I tell you, it is.

Want this olde former-tailor help you create a suit that will make a true difference in your life?

Then all you need to do is reply, and I’ll give you a complementary discovery session.

Cheers,

Martin

Learning is never bad.

But, learning is not always helpful.

Quite often, when we want to see different results in our lives, we resort to learning.

Techniques, strategies, skills… All very useful.

Except that in some cases, the thing we need most is to apply what we’ve already learned.

Especially when there’s problems, a lack of money, or a messy situation that needs cleaning up.

Yet somehow, we’re being pulled back to learning more.

Part of the reason is the way online marketers talk to us: “Don’t miss out, because without this thing you’ll never make it” and similar fear-driven marketing ploys.

Another part of the reason has to do with feelings, especially feelings of inadequacy or inferiority.

We don’t believe we can fix this or that problem, and so we decide to learn more – to upgrade ourselves.

And again: that’s always useful, but not always the most useful.

If a guy sees that his house is on fire, should he learn how to operate a fire truck?

Is that really the quickest way to solve the problem?

There’s no sense in learning Photoshop if what you need is a simple method to resize photos.

Learning the ins and outs of LinkedIn marketing is pointless, if you need clients fast and you have a list of previous clients that you haven’t contacted in a while.

Much more useful to simply step up and take action: talk to those people.

Or, one of my own examples: Learning how to change stuff on my website in order to improve my systems, when what I really need is to meet more inspiring people.

Again: learning is never bad.

But always ask yourself: should I put more stuff into my brain right now… or should I choose an action and launch into it full on?

In many cases, you’ll get more results from doing than you would from learning.

Never let learning be an excuse to procrastinate on doing those things that really move the needle for your business.

And if you don’t know which things those would be?

Well, then you can talk to a coach. Hello.

Cheers,

Martin

A reader wrote in, after reading my article about the lady in the UK who stopped waxing and feeling depressed, and who now sports her beard with pride.

In her words: If you’ve got it, rock it.

Says my reader: this lady has an interesting story to tell.

And yes, that’s true.

But don’t ever let stories like that stop you from telling your own.

The fact that there’s a blind painter in our world, and a paraplegic mountaineer, etc etc etc is no reason to not tell your story.

Becaues it’s not about how big or impressive your story is.

This was my reply:

###

Good point, but I’d like to quote the guys at the Content Marketing Institute:

We all have a story to tell – tell it well.

And that really is all there is to it. Because what matters is not how big the story is, or rare, or filled with past or current hardships: it’s about telling any story in such a way that it connects with another person.

And however humble the story: there will always be people who are just waiting for that story to show up and change something in them.

###

It’s not about the type of story: it’s about impact.

And even if your story is simple or humble,  your telling it might just be the kick in the pants that somebody else needs.

It’s never about the kind or size or type of story: it’s about finding the person or persons who will resonate with it.

And just like the truth: they’re out there.

Your job as an entrepreneur is to find them.

And I can help you do that, if you want.

Just reach out, and we’ll talk.

Cheers,

​Martin