Month: July 2017

“I need a new car”.

Do you, or do you want one? And if you truly do need a new car, does it have to be a *new* one, or could it also be second hand?

“I need to get in shape”.

Need, or want? Many people would do well to shape up, but very often, there’s no actual need.

“I need to stop procrastinating”.

Need, or want?

I’m not playing semantics here – I’m playing economy.

Because when you tell yourself (or others) that there’s something you need to have or do or change, it becomes a given, a requisite.

Which means it gets importance, priority even.

But when that gets applied to things you want instead of need, you just might end up making yourself more busy and more overwhelmed than you need to be.

Making a clear distinction between what you truly need, and what you actually want is important.

If you start giving your kid pocketmoney, you explain the difference between buying things they need, and things they want – right?

Then, why not apply that to the choices you make as well?

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find there’s a ton of things you thought you need, but in reality you want them.

Apply that to the choices relating to work and how you spend your time, and boom:

Suddenly you’re free of self-imposed pseudo-needs, and you have a whole lot more time-capital and energy-capital to spend on things that really matter.

Simple tricks, but so effective.

And that’s the kind of thing that makes coaching people so much fun.

Get some for yourself, if you want…

Cheers,

​Martin

That well-worn pair of shoes might be comfortable, but are they the best choice?

Is wearing them even a choice at all – or is it just something you’ve grown accustomed to?

In many ways and areas of our lives, we end up not making changes, just because the status quo is so comfortable.

But those shoes might be bad for your back, your stance, your gait – if not your public appearance.

And yet, we keep wearing them because they’re just so damn comfortable.

And it’s not until we lose them or they get damaged and we’re forced to buy new ones, that we realise what a delight it can be to practice a little ‘out with the old, in with the new’.

This isn’t simply more of the standard ‘get outside your comfort zone’ malarkey.

This is about taking a close look at where you’ve become complacent, and asking yourself whether or not staying with the comfortable actually helps you move forward.

Because here’s the problem with the well-worn shoe: it becomes our crutch, the excuse we use to not take a big leap, bold action, that major decision.

Like my client Paula Mould, who decided last week to close down her web development company, which has supported her and her family for 17 years.

A good, stable company, which was comfortable, but: which had become her safety net, her crutch.

Relying on her company gave her an excuse to not go all-out on becoming a full-time artist, living off her art.

Big move, and inspiring too.

No more safety net.

I did the same thing a few years back: I had a successful business as a copywriter, but it was my crutch. It was preventing me from doing what I really love – which is working one on one with ambitious entrepreneurs.

So I shut it down, cut the cords of the safety net.

It was scary, but worth it.

What about you? What’s your safety net? What’s the pair of well-worn shoes that are keeping you from doing what you really want?

And more importantly: are you willing to let go of it?

Cheers,

​Martin

Most of us, we limit ourselves – and we don’t even know we’re doing it.

Like a car that has a governor built in, preventing it from going over a certain speed.

But with us humans, it’s not like there’s a module that you can unplug, so as to access more results or higher performance.

Or is it?

Depends how you look at it: it’s not a physical device, but it’s definitely possible to remove the governor in our minds.

And you might want to remover yours, because if you’re limited by a governor, it’s pretty much certain it’s there for a good reason, but
it’s causing the opposite effect of what you aim for.

An example: I often meet people with a high level of ethics, a strong desire to do something good for others, and the humility to not want much for themselves.

And they’ll tell me something like this: “I don’t need that a lot of money, it doesn’t interest me much. I’m happy with ‘just enough + a little extra’”.

On the surface that seems good, and it’s definitely admirable. Greed isn’t pretty.

But if you think this way, then that ‘enough amount’ is your governor, in your mind.

And the problem is that setting such a limit will prevent you from reaching and impacting more people – which is odd, because isn’t doing something good for others part of your set of values?

Should that effect only be for the lucky few?

No, but if you limit the income you want to make, as a consequence you’ll make the decisions that keep you around that level, and that means you limit the number of people you’ll have an impact on.

In other words: the limit you set directly goes against something that matters to you.

Not very helpful.

So, unplug the governor. If you make more money than you need you can re-invest it into growth, and if more growth isn’t necessary you can donate your cash. Plenty of organisations are desperate for financial help.

Now, it can be pretty difficult to remove your limitations.

And that’s exactly why a coach is so useful, because a coach is someone who asks you the questions that help you do it.

I’d be happy to help you – just answer a few questions at the link below, and I’ll give you a 30-minute complementary session.

Here’s the link: https://martin283.typeform.com/to/v7Dsh8

Cheers,

​Martin

It’s easy to tell yourself that you’re doing it wrong, that you’re stupid, or lazy, or lack skills or that you tend to procrastinate.

And most of us will tell ourselves things like that.

I know I do.

But ask yourself:

Does that help?

“I don’t like selling”.

Does that help?

“I’m too introverted to create a network of interesting people”.

Does that help?

“I have a habit of negative self-talk”.

Does that help?

The answer is, of course, no. No it doesn’t help.

So what to do instead?

Well, back to baseline thinking:

As you are now, you’re perfect.

Ah, oh – but there are things you want to change or improve! Good stuff!

Then tell yourself a different story.

For example: “I want to learn how to sell my stuff in a way that doesn’t feel icky”.

More helpful, yes?

Or: “I want to get more productive”.

“I’d like to meet interesting people in a way that doesn’t require me to do ‘networking’”.

Get the picture?

Core notion: the stories we tell ourselves either help or hinder us.

So when you notice negative ones, ask yourself: “Does that help?”.

Next, tell yourself a story that actually helps.

Which I can help you with, if you’ll accept my invitation for a no-cost strategy session.

You can do so by answering a few questions, here: https://martin283.typeform.com/to/v7Dsh8

Cheers,

Martin

These are the three modes I work with.

Chess, judo, and ballet. That’s all I need, and it’s all that you need – for life, business, or well-being.

Sometimes, you play chess: you need to be strategic, see the options, think ahead, and see the big picture of interacting possibilities.

At other times, life or business are like martial arts: stand still, feel what’s happening in and around you, and respond in an agile way.
You may need to duck and evade – people or situations – and at other times you need to take an existing momentum, act with instead of against it, and floor ‘the opponent’.

But mostly, most days, life can actually be like ballet, a dance, a way to flow and graciously be yourself.

Note how in none of this there’s battle, strife, or struggle.

Does that mean there’s no problems?

Of course not: problems can always arise.

But if you take the chess-judo-ballet attitude, you don’t need to *experience* problems as problems.

Instead, they’re either a dance, a chess-match, or an act of martial arts.

Each of which you can learn and become good at.

Fun, no?

Cheers,

​Martin

It’s pretty hard to coach yourself – and believe me, I’ve tried.

It wasn’t until I hired my own coach that I started to see real change: for example, increased self-awareness, clearer thinking, better decisions, more enjoyment, more creativity, and quite a few more benefits.

But I needed someone else to ask me the right questions, at the right time.

That said, we can all use coaching questions on ourselves, and I highly recommend you do.

This one, for example:

“What are my options?”

Powerful stuff.

See, when you’re facing a problem, dilemma, choice, or you simply need to figure out your next step, it’s easy to stare yourself blind, looking at the problem over and over again.

But when you step back from the actual problem, and you direct your attention to the options available to you, a different picture emerges.

In essence, you’re asking your subconscious to highlight potential choices, which is far more useful than trying to beat a problem into submission.

And boom: suddenly you go from stuck to choices to make.

So try it.

Think of something that you need to decide or solve or choose, and ask yourself:

What are my options?

One of your options of course, is to click the link below and apply for a no-cost strategy session with me, and I’ll ask you… coaching questions…

That link being this one: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11652475&appointmentType=544906

Cheers,

​Martin