Oh Man I Miss the @Rimshotbot – And I'll Miss You If You Disappear

Few years ago there was a twitter account I just loved.

It was a bot, but such a fun bot.

It scanned the twitterverse, for anyone using the word ‘rimshot’.

You know, the badum-tshh sound they make on the drums after a comedian tells a joke.

As soon as you’d say #rimshot, you’d get a reply from the @rimshotbot.

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Client About to Drive off a Cliff – Again

I thought this might be useful for you. It’s an email I sent to a client last night.

I’ve mentioned him before: he’s getting ready to launch his business, and still has a few big problems on his site.

Notably, his landing pages are broken: the copy is good (obviously – I wrote it – don’t ever let anyone accuse me of modesty).

But the design and layout is a mess. The pages won’t convert. So I offered him a report+wireframes, and since he’s a client who keeps sending me jobs, I offered this at a stupid discount.

 He declined, saying his web development team will fix the problems.

 I’m fine with that, but…

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Screw the Customer and Make a Profit (Don't do This)

Just saw a quote that made me angry.

Not because it isn’t true, but because of who said it, and because of the company this individual runs.

“People say the customer is always right, but you know what – they’re not. Sometimes they are wrong and they need to be told so”.

That little gem is from Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair.

Ryanair is of course the low-budget airline I love to rant against.

Ryanair is a complete asshole to its customers.

“Short of committing murder, negative publicity sells more seats than positive publicity”.

Yep, he really said that. It pretty much sums up Ryanair’s attitude.

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Why a Little Bit of You Makes You Come Alive To Them

I was talking to a friend the other day about her marketing.

She owns a little grocery store here in town, and she asked my help in order to attract clients from a wealthy neighbourhood.

Her plan was to distribute a little flyer to raise awareness and interest.

I put together some copy giving the reader some fine incentives to come visit her shop, and printed it out to show her.

But I don’t want my picture on it, Martin. I’m not that coquette, you know? It’s not about me”.

I smiled at her, because I like it when people say smart things.

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Smart Guy: I Don't Want to go to His Shop, But I Probably Will

A few times a year, everything in this town gets covered by a thin film of fine red sand.

It gets carried across the Mediterranean sea when the wind is just right, and it actually is sand from the Sahara.

I got on my motorbike, started, and drove away to a horrible crunching sound.

It was the Sahara sand on the chain, and it causes massive wear on the chain, so on my way out of town I stopped at a workshop to have the guy clean off the sand.
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Facts Are Stupid Things – What Does That Even Mean?

When you write, it’s incredibly important that you get your message across unequivocably.

The worst thing that can happen is for you to carefully craft a message and then have the reader get a different And it’s far easier than you think.

For example, take the following quote, by the late Ronald Reagan.

“Facts are stupid things”.

On the face of it, it means that facts are useless, bothersome, undesirable to deal with.

Quite a stupid statement, if you ask me.

But if you think about that sentence,

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You Wouldn't Believe the Things I Send Myself Sometimes and Oh Yeah: Download My Free eBook

Sometimes when I’m on the road or at the beach and I get an idea for these daily emails, I send myself a quick email from my smartphone.

I was just going through my inbox to see which nuggets of straight-out genius I’ve been sending myself, and I found a piece that started:

“When I woke up I wasn’t wearing any underwear”.

The rest was a few lines of self-reflection that were meaningless and had no further relevance to my state of dress or undress such as it may have been.

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Sometimes, Sadly, People Just Aren't Ready for Help

Sometimes, for all your good intentions, you can’t make the sale.

There are cases when you know, for a fact, they should buy.

You know it’s going to help the buyer.

They’ll advance, heal, progress, learn… they NEED this stuff.

Many people will then try to become more persuasive.

Give more explanation.

Repeat key points.
Try to get through their skull.

Trying to give them the ‘come to Jesus’ moment.

“Trust me. You need this”.

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Black Bus Driver Reinvents Marketing and Prevents a Suicide While He's At It


Big lesson, too.

Here’s how a regular guy used the single most powerful persuasion technique to save a life.

And, like I always teach: he used persuasion to achieve a greater good.

Darnell Barton was driving his bus on a Buffalo highway.

A woman stood perched on the edge of the bridge.

Our world and her world were about to disconnect – 7 seconds and 400 feet from now.

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"…and Then the Whale Blew Up in My Face", Said the Man

Of course the whale blew up: he frigging put dynamite in the poor thing.

Same thing happens in oh-so-many businesses: “Let’s try this thing, that will definitely solve our problem!”



True story:

In 1970, a whale ended up beached in Oregon.

Whales smell bad. Really bad. Especially if you let them sit dead on a beach for a week.

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