When you have something for someone – a product or service, or a plan, or a great idea, or a different viewpoint you’d like them to try, you know why it’s good.
You have reasons that you know are valid.
They’ll be happy with the purchase, it’ll solve their problem. They’ll enjoy the restaurant you have in mind. Your kids will grow up healthy and strong, if they eat their veggies. Folks will enjoy the movie or the book you have in mind for them.
In short: your reasons for wanting them to want what you have, see, or think, are solid and correct.
Except there’s one problem:
People don’t buy (or buy in) because of your reasons – no matter how valid those are.
No, when people buy something or enroll in something, they do it for *their* reasons. Not yours.
And that’s where so much communication (and indeed: sales) break down.
We try to persuade, convince, influence… we try to reason with the other person.
But they need their own reasons… once they find those, they enroll themselves – they buy in willingly and voluntarily.
And no matter how much you try to reason with them, remember that you’re only making it harder for them to discover their own reasons.
So instead of trying to reason with the other person, appeal to their desire for change, and give them space to figure out *if* they want the thing or idea you have, and most importantly: *why* they would want it.
It’s not your reasons that make people buy or buy in: it’s their reasons. Help the other person discover those reasons.
Also published on Medium.