When They Resist… Are You Selling Them an Identity They Don’t Want?

Yesterday I explained that behind buying into the features and benefits of your work, what a customer really buys into, is a new version of themselves.

The bigger the price tag, the more impactful and meaningful the change in identity.

This gives us as sellers a massive clue, especially when we find that our prospect isn’t buying in.
when you encounter objections, or resistance or fears, there’s a couple of things you need to do.

First: back down. I know it’s tempting to push on, argue more persuasively, highlight the benefits and so on, but don’t. If someone resists, you’ll do better playing judo than playing force.

That other person has a reason for their resistance, and your working against it will only make it stronger. So give them space. Have them explain the why of their doubts or objections.

Next, put yourself in their shoes.

As in: how do they see themselves?

What vision of themselves, and their world, and their place in it, have they formed?

What story about who they are, do they tell themselves?

And once you have a bit of an idea of that, ask yourself:

What version of themselves am I asking them to buy into?

And, finally, the ultimate question:

Can they identify with that vision, that version of themselves?

More often than not, you’ll discover that there’s discord, some lack of alignment for them.

You see a outcome-focused ‘next’, where they have bought from you and experienced the benefits.

They however, also see problems, complications, and a bunch of unknowns.

Even though they might trust that they’ll get the outcome you promise, they also need to see their lives as fundamentally better, and themselves as significantly upgraded by having bought from you.

When someone isn’t buying in, it’s very likely you’ve been trying to sell them a version of themselves they don’t really want.

You as a seller, you’re asking a buyer to become someone different.

And instead of asking them to become who you think they should become, figure out who they want to become, and invite them to become that.

As for you, my dear reader: who would you like to become?

If you were to work with me, what next version of you would you want to become?



Also published on Medium.

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