The Thing We All Do Yet There’s No Need for It…

It’s uncanny to see how much people are in the habit of beating themselves up.

As if we’re supposed to be our own bully, judge, and executioner.

Things we shouldn’t have done or said, things we should do but don’t, procrastinating, needing rest… sometimes it’s as if we’re doing everything wrong.

At least, that’s the way we talk to ourselves. Constant blaming and recriminating and self-accusing and self-judgement… what a bore and what a drag.

So consider this: what if you were taken down by a flu, a big one. Fever, coughing, pain in every muscle… sounds like a good time to spent a few days in bed, right?

And, you’d obviously not blame yourself or get angry with yourself.

A virus showed up, your immune system didn’t manage to fight it off, and bam. Time-out.

Blame yourself? Of course not.

So what if I tell you that whatever it is you don’t do, or do do, or whatever mistake you make… anything really… is exactly the same as that flu?

Not that procrastination comes from viruses, but in the sense that as you are, right now, is simply the consequence of your entire life and all your choices and learnings etc…

Who and how you are… is just what is. You couldn’t possibly be anywhere else in life this minute, because who you are now and where you’re at is a simple consequence of a complex confluence.

And naturally, what you do or don’t do is a natural consequence of who you are at the moment.

Couldn’t be any other way.

So where’s the sense in beating yourself up over it?

It doesn’t help, because it only makes us feel frustrated and that will only make the problem worse.

But what does help, a lot, is if you change your self-image.

Like so:

As you are now, that’s the baseline. It’s the new normal. It’s perfect, as it is, including the imperfections. (those will always be there anyway).

And from this baseline, what would you like to build? Create? Change? Manifest?

In order for you to get to the next level of success or happiness, what could be changed in the baseline state?

Not because there’s something wrong with you, but because you have more potential than you’ve tapped into so far.

And that’s the secret you discover when you accept what it without self-blame.

When you suddenly stop blaming yourself and start looking at potential, you discover that you got out of your own way, and suddenly you have the ability to tap into your unmanifested potential.

This is one of the most powerful moves I have as a coach: to get you to accept whatever you were fighting, and to focus exclusively on what can be built.

It’s a fun game to play, I tell you.

Let me know if you want me to play it with you.

Cheers,

​Martin


Also published on Medium.

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