There’s a good chance that you and I have things in common.
A love for art, to begin with.
And, I hope, a wish to see art sold.
But, we might also share values.
For example, an attitude of service in life, a strong orientation to improve ourselves, our surroundings, and the situation that others are in.
I can imagine – and I wish – that you care as much as I do about others, and that you do what you can in order to be present and to help.
So in that context, let me give you a little quiz, based on the book ‘Give and Take’ by Adam Grant:
See, there’s three kinds of people:
Givers, takers, and matchers.
Takers are like a bottomless pit:
No matter how much you give, it’s never enough and they never give back.
More importantly, they never pay forward either.
Like a black hole, they just take and take, and whatever it is that they receive: it stays with them.
Then there’s givers:
They share freely.
At a very deep level of their being they are so convinced of abundance that they give and give without any expectation of return.
Then there’s matchers:
These people are aware of tit-for-tat, it’s the kind of person who returns favours.
It’s also the kind of person who measures their giving to what level of return (or pay-forward) might be the result of their giving.
This story isn’t meant to pass judgment, mind you.
In fact, I think many people who are takers became that way because of past experiences in their lives.
I don’t think being a taker is a character trait, but rather a type of defense mechanism.
After all, if you’ve constantly see people take advantage of you, it only makes sense that at some point you start to protect yourself.
But that’s not the point of this email or this quiz, so let’s move on.
It’s important to be very aware of the three types, because how you deal with these three different kinds of people will have a big influence on your success, and that’s something studied by Grant and a host of researchers.
So here’s the quiz:
1: Which kind of person do you think tends to become most successful?
Which kind of person tends to be least successful and struggle the most?
Question 1, as you might expect, gives us givers.
People who share from abundance generally become the most successful, and it’s not surprising either.
So then, who would be the least successful type?
If you answer is takers, you’re mistaken.
The least successful kind of person is…
So what’s going on there?
How do givers end up on the lowest rung of the success ladder, as well as on the highest?
The difference between successful givers and struggling givers?
Successful givers give to matchers and other givers.
Struggling givers give to takers.
And when you do that, the gift, the energy, the good deed stops dead in its tracks.
It stays where you put it.
Whereas if you give to matchers and givers, it either comes back to you or moves on to the next one, creating a movement of sharing and giving, on and on.
So if you’re like me and you believe in abundance and you’re prone to help and give, please consider who you give to.
The more you seek matchers and givers and avoid giving to takers, the better it will be for others, for yourself, for the world and ultimately for the success you’ll achieve.
I see so many people who give and give, and all they do is burn themselves up, just because they’re not clear on who they should and shouldn’t give to.
And the world deserves better than that.
The world deserves…
And if you think that you won’t make much of a difference, that you don’t matter, that you’re too small to have an effect…
…just try to sleep with a mosquito buzzing around your head, and you’ll be very aware how tiny things can have a massive impact.
So… what do you want to do with your gift, how badly do you want to bring light and relief and joy to others?
What is it that YOU want to give… and to whom?
Also published on Medium.