Questions. The Answer to Everything!

Ever got into a funk?

Worry, stress, doubt, frustration, stuckness, feelings of being unable or unworthy and all that fun stuff?

There’s a fix for that, you know.

And it’s easy, fun, and extraordinarily effective.

The fix can start with literally everything you want, and it always ends with a question mark. Always.

See, we have the habit of seeing a thing (event, situation, person, whatever), and then we interpret it, and if that interpretation causes stress or distress, then we base our further thinking, feeling, decision-making and acting, on that particular unhelpful state.

And obviously, that doesn’t easily lead to solutions or improvements.

But if, once you perceive and interpret, you start asking questions instead of running with what you conclude, everything changes.

Like so:

Imagine you’re about to land a big client, and at the last moment the deal breaks.

So you suddenly can’t make that investment you had in mind, or clear away that debt. Shucks.

Very often, the next step would be thoughts and feelings like ‘Again, this keeps happening’ or ‘I just don’t have it’ or ‘I don’t know if I can keep this up’.

Tailspin time, if you don’t watch out.

Me, I just use answers to avoid going there.

I’ve had big opportunities that looked like a sure thing fall through, but instead of going down the dark path, I always start asking questions.

‘What happened there?’

‘How did this deal break?’

‘That person who was so on board with my proposal, what happened in their world that made them change their mind?’

‘What can I do differently next time?’

‘What does this mean… for me? For them?’

‘Should I forge on, or is this when I should take a few days off and regroup?’

‘What can I do or say – how should I react in a way that keeps the conversation going, so that maybe later something will happen?’

Questions, questions, always questions. Any kind of question.

Just so long as you keep your researcher/explorer hat on, instead of doing ‘bad science’ and say ‘well this is what I found, and so that means that is it’ without exploring what else it could be or mean.

Never draw a dead-end conclusion, because, well, they don’t go anywhere.

Instead be the eternal investigator, Private I, researcher, scientist.

Ask. Questions.

Seriously.

Instead of arbitrarily accepting this or that thing as the supposed ‘this is what it is’, tap into that massive creativity and ingenuity that you have. It’s there for you to use, not shut down.

And hey, if you don’t know which questions to use?

Talk to a coach and let me ask you the questions. That’ll definitely jumpstart your creative problem-solving.

Cheers,

​Martin


Also published on Medium.

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