Please Don't Make Me Think About Sex

Last week I turned down a very handsome gig.
A lady in the U.S., who runs a web shop with adult toys.
You know: vibrators, lotions, sexy underwear… that sort of thing.
She needed a whole bunch of copy strategic consulting

Her email was great: clearly a smart person, sympathetic and respectful – by all means the perfect client.
I looked at her site, and was pleasantly surprised.
It was stylish, tasteful and not crass in any way.

At first I considered taking the job.
I may have spent many years being a celibate monk, but that doesn’t mean I’m a prude.
Besides, I don’t see anything wrong with the type of product.

But each time I tried to answer her email, I got an unpleasant – uncomfortable is actually a better word – feeling in the pit of my stomach.
For a few days I considered my options, and then I decided to decline.

Because writing means research, hours of it.
Meaning that between research and writing, I’d be spending days with sex on my mind, all day long

Which, I imagine, could be fun – but I just don’t want that, you know?
I prefer to think about smiles and hugs, and trees and butterflies and good people doing good things.
Call me soft if you like (and then realise your mistake once you actually see me selling), but there’s a type of life I want for myself, in which sex has a place, but not a dominant place.
She understood completely and thanked me for the few bits of advice I gave her for free.

And I was left to focus on writing about topics that I make me happy.
Like learning, development, technology, psychology and growth – that’s the type of client I love.

For you, it’s important to consider who you want to work with

This year, I wish for you to remember this email, and filter your clients based on it.

Taking clients that don’t make you happy is a terrible frustration, and the cost is high.

You could think ‘I need this gig, bills to pay’, but it’s a disservice to yourself: you’ll get cash for doing something you don’t like, and while you’re doing it you can’t spend that time looking for more fun clients (or indeed doing work for them).

It takes a leap of faith. It’s scary to turn down a gig.
But in my experience, it always pays off.
Each time I’ve said ‘no’, I’ve ended up intensely grateful for having had the courage to make the decision.
The same thing can happen to you.
All you need to do is listen to your gut, and be true to yourself.
If something tells you ‘better not’, then don’t.
That gut instinct is smart. Trust it.

To finish: if your gut instinct says: “Maybe Martin can help my business grow this year”, maybe hit reply and let me know what you need. Or, go here to read more about why&what for:



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Martin helped our co-working space get to full occupancy and $25.000 monthly revenue in less than a year.

~ Antonio Herrezuelo,
Avenida Capital

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