A few weeks ago, someone interested in working with me was on the fence about making the decision.

He saw the value and knew I’m not the rah-rah kind of ‘you can do it!’ coach, and yet… he had trouble making up his mind.

We talked, and then he told me one of the big conundrums he was facing:

Would Martin be yet another cookie-cutter, follow-the-programme coaches?

Someone who takes you through a curriculum, and tells you what to do?

I smiled, because that’s the perfect attitude – not just when working with a coach, but also in life.

Sure you’ve got all the answers in you, but that’s not the point.

What matters is that you’re able to find those answers for yourself.

To inquire of your subconscious what needs to happen, what you need to become aware of, and what it is that you need to decide.

It’s easy and oh-so comforting, to have someone spoonfeed you the answers and the steps.

But that’s called education, and not coaching. Nothing wrong with it, but different.

And it illustrates the value of a real coach, meaning: someone who enables you to take ownership of your process, growth, and development.

And that ownership thing, that’s in short supply these days, especially with all the hyped-up marketing tactics we’re being shown every time we go online.

Seems like everyone is trying to sell us a 1-2-3 ‘buy this and magic will happen, all by itself’ infoproduct, training, or course.

But there ain’t no magic.

There’s only clear thinking, sensible deciding, and elbow grease.

And the more you own your own involvement and actions, the easier things are and the more resourceful you become.

Good friends and real coaches don’t feed you the answers.

They listen and ask the questions that make you find your own answers.

Which brings me to an interesting point: very often I see coaches claiming that they have the answer to the question ‘can you help me with XYZ?’, and brand themselves as the dude or gal who yes, totally, can do.

I say be skeptical when you see that kind of claim.

There’s a lot that goes into the mix, in order for a coach to really help a client – starting with alignment, or attunement, on a personal level.

And until you meet and speak, there’s no way to know. So how can someone pre-empt the question, and say yes…?

It’s impossible.

Me I have no idea if I can help you.

But we can talk, and we can find out.

Want to?



Also published on Medium.

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