“Oh but tomorrow I won’t be here. I’m meeting my friend Mari-Carmen, we’re going to this restaurant we know”.
I freeze and look at her.
“Are you serious? What about our agreement? You were going be here, in my house, 5 days a week, 2 hours. Without fail. That’s what you committed to.”
“Yes, but Friday is the only day we can go to this place. I won’t be here tomorrow.”
“That’s not what we agreed, and you know it. Unless the sky falls on your head or you break a leg, you show up. Every day. On time. You committed to that”.
“Yes but not tomorrow, I’m meeting Mari-Carmen”.
I mutter “I can’t believe this” and leave the room, furious but restraining myself.
Back at my standing desk, I put my monk on and let the emotions dissipate. I get back to work.
Which, incidentally, meant breaking my website and taking it offline (again), but I managed to resuscitate it.
By the time she comes in with a question, 20 minutes later, I’m calm and start explaining.
This happened yesterday.
Because my friend needs help.
The last thing she wants is to land another crappy job, with a crappy boss, at extortion level pay.
So after much application of psychology, I finally managed to get her to see that yes, she too can have her own business.
She’s an interior designer, and a good one. Has won a few awards in the past, but somehow she ended up in a paid job and she’s been miserable ever since.
You can imagine I was overjoyed when last Sunday she said: “Ok then, I’ll do it. But I’ll need yout help.”
I flashed my toothy smile and said: “You got it.”
So we made the deal that she’d be here each working day, for two hours.
I spend 30 minutes with her, laying out a plan and answering questions, and the remaining 1,5 hours she spends in my guest room with her laptop, building a site, researching, contacting people – the stuff a business is made of.
My heart sank when she told me on day four that ‘seeing a friend’ was more important to her than hammering away at building her business.
Here’s what I told her:
“The only way you’re going to own a business that works is if you give it an extremely high priority.
“Like, the way a drowning man wants air – that’s how badly you have to want it.
“If within a week you start changing your plan, choosing to not work the hours that you promised me – and more importantly: promised yourself…
“…Then I guarantee it’s not going to work.
“If seeing a friend is more important than the work, it’s better if you stop the project now, and go looking for a job.
“But, if you do stick with your plan, stay true to your commitment, and if you follow the steps I lay out for you – then I guarantee it will work, and you’ll be making money sooner than you think.
“Think about it: How badly do you want it?”
“I’ll be here tomorrow”.
I tell her that it’s ok, she’s already made the plans and it’s the last chance to see her friend for the next two months.
“But on Monday, we start again. And no excuses.”
This, staying true to yourself and making everything secondary to your one mission, that’s the loyalty part of Bushido I was talking about the other day.
Loyalty to yourself and to your plan.
When you set out on a path, and you don’t keep to your inner promise, you create a massive discord on a deep psychological level.
It’s a human tendency, but it has to be fought hand and tooth if you ever want to get anywhere.
You decide on a plan, and everything else has to yield.
And that plan includes taking care of yourself, taking rest, getting exercise, eating well and seeing friends – but just as you-time is sacred and untouchable, so is the plan you decide upon.
Deviate, and suffer the consequences.
As you’ve experienced for yourself.
If you start messing with those things, your subconscious won’t understand what to do and everything will go haywire.
Consistency is key. Your system thrives on consistency for its performance, creativity, motivation.
So if you too struggle with things like these, and you want to learn how to apply these mechanisms without having to rely on sheer discipline, you want to get in for LEAP #6.
It’s going to be a special issue, and it’ll give you very smart ways to be your best, while getting enough rest, and thoroughly enjoy the process.
It’s the culmination of the 20 years of study and self-experimentation I’ve gone through, and believe me: you’ll never be the same.
In a very, very good way.
Sign up here –> http://martinstellar.com/leap-to-more-sales/