The Inverse Favour of Asking For Help

Ever needed to ask someone for help, but you didn’t because you don’t want to feel selfish, or you don’t want to bother the other person?

You’re not alone.
It’s a common thing, and I too fall prey to it sometimes.

But if those are the reasons you don’t ask for help, you miss out on something important, for the benefit of the other person.

Let me explain:

I don’t know if it’s in Thailand, or Cambodia or somewhere in that are of the world, but there exists a branch of Buddhism, where the monks are mendicants.

Meaning: beggars.

Their particular vow of poverty stipulates that they’re not allowed to have or earn any money, so for their daily meals they go out to the surrounding villages, hoping to receive donations of food.

Of course one can argue about how just that is – to live secluded, outside of society, and have that not very wealthy society provide for your upkeep, but that’s not the point.

(Besides, I believe the monks repay by way of providing education).

Anyway, here’s this beggar-monk going around with his straw hat upturned, and people give them food.

Got the picture?

Now, ask yourself: after the exchange, who says thank you?

You’d assume it’s the monk to say ‘Hey dude, you totally rock’ or whatever vernacular people there use.

But it’s the villagers who give thanks.

Because the monk enabled the villager to do a good deed.

Showing up empty-handed meant that the villager was faced with the opportunity to perform an act of altruism.

And in case you weren’t aware: altruism is THE best way to fulfillment and happiness.

So when you ask someone for help, you actually present a choice, for that other person to feel good about themselves.

In other words: the favour goes two directions.

This is why in my business, I often give people a complementary coaching session.

The other person gets help, I get to feel good about myself, and nobody loses.

And it’s also a fun way to get the word out about working with me.

I don’t need to do any selling: I just give someone the experience of coaching, and those who want more of it, well they work with me.

And if they don’t?

Fine by me: I’ve already gotten the benefit, because I got to help someone.

So if ever you need some help and you’re stopping yourself from asking for it, remember the mendicant monks.

Do someone the favour, of allowing them to do you a favour.

Oh, and if you want to do yourself, and myself the favour: I’ll give you a coaching session.

No charge, no expectation.

Just answer a few questions here, and I’ll be in touch to schedule an appointment:



Also published on Medium.

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