Some things in life, you do them just because you can.
Take a detour on your way home, call up an old friend, take a day off, and so on.
Other things, you do them because it’s expected of you (either by yourself or by others).
Then there’s things that enable other things – a day job, building your website, learning how to write emails that sell your work, to name but a few.
And then there’s a very special category of things to do:
Those things that you do deliberately.
I’d never thought of it very deeply, but when I mentioned the word ‘deliberate’ to my coach, he lit up an suggested I write about it.
See, I use the word very often, even if I never considered why.
But ‘deliberate’ is a two-edged sword, which is why it is actually a great word to work with.
On the one side, it’s ‘doing something with great intentionality’.
On the other, deliberate is a verb, meaning: to give careful, sometimes long, consideration.
Those two things together, they have the power to create massive change and results in your life.
When you spend enough time deliberating something, and then you go forward into action with full intent and all your motivation behind it, big things can
Note that ‘to deliberate’ is not the same thing as thinking.
Thinking, the process of engaging mind, is useful, but it’s limited.
Mind has a distinct limit, even if someone is highly intelligent and a very astute thinker.
Even for that person, there can be information, inspiration and decisions that come from beyond mind.
What that ‘beyond’ actually is, I can’t tell you, and I don’t think it matters.
I normally call it the subconscious, because we know it exists, it’s conveniently vague, yet encompasses all the possible and intangible depths of
whatever we could possibly come up with.
So I’ll run with the subconscious: it’s part of the process of deliberation.
Often that can mean listening to your intuition, or doing a ‘gut check’, or feeling into something – like I said, it’s pretty intangible stuff.
Pretty darn helpful though, because once you allow the subconscious to have a say in what you think about, you get a much larger and more complete picture.
Things look clearer, and you’ll be better equipped to make the right decision.
Anyway, whatever way deliberation works for you, make use of it.
And then, when you know exactly what to do, then leap and do it while giving it your all.
This, to me, is a rule to live by.
To only do what I really want to do, and do it fully.
Of course there’s always chores and obligations I’d rather avoid but can’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t strive for sticking with the rule the rest of the time.
For the rest?
Like I’m fond of saying: When in doubt, don’t.
Doubt means you haven’t had enough time yet to deliberate, and that’s ok.
Just hold off on the decision and the action until you’re certain.
That moment will come if you give it enough time.
Once you reach it, doing the thing and giving it everything you can will be easier.
You’ll also find that taking this time will cause things to be timed better, in terms of your life, your business and your work.
It’s simple: Everything can be measured with one simple question:
Is it hell yes?
Because otherwise it’s a no.
Same thing applies to coaching, which is why I often tell people:
If you really do want to work with me, it can only be a hell yes.
Otherwise it’s no, or maybe not yet.
Everything in life can be done in an iffy manner, or utterly deliberately.
You get to decide.
P.s. This travel adventure of mine, it’s over – for a good reason. More on that tomorrow.
Also published on Medium.