Greed vs Generosity

A while ago I ran into a local acquaintance, who hosts retreats and events.

“Hey Martin, do you still coach people?”

Told them that yes, I sure do.

“Well, if ever you want to work together, our premises are available”.

Ooh nice, I thought: collaboration!

“As in, organising a retreat together, you mean?”

And then they hit me with probably the biggest turnoff ever:

“No, as in: you bring us the people, and we host a retreat for them”.

My jaw dropped at the staggering and blatant greedy selfishness of it.

They expect me to do their marketing for them, because what – I’m such a nice guy?

To make this even more painful, this person is rather well-connected to an up-market audience, has a huge following, and is actually world-famous in a niche that isn’t very small.

In other words: they have everything in place to draw in a crowd.

And yet, they have this idea that other people should do the heavy lifting for them.

I’m still baffled by how clueless it all was.

In the past, I used to like this person, and have often considered programmes we could run together.

After this though? I no longer consider them. No longer part of my world. Bye.

Not that I expect them to care – after all, I’m just a dude who does a thing, and there’s 100s of dudes and lasses like me, here on the coast.

But in terms of marketing, what they did was display greed – the greatest sin you can imagine in business, sales, and marketing.

When you want to enroll people (whether in an idea, a collaboration, or indeed into paying you money for something), give first.

When you do that, you make it about them, which is a powerful way to enable people to trust you.

And without trust, people don’t buy.

Instead of being greedy and selfish, be generous.

Serve people with your marketing.

Just like I do with these dailies: a way to show up, to give something, a public service, to remind you that I’m here, and available if I’m the right coach for you.

And though I no longer teach email marketing, I can still coach you on how to generously write daily emails that people love, share, and buy from.

Holler when you’re ready.

Cheers,

Martin

About You…

One of the easiest ways to miss out on getting outcomes with people?

Making it about you – and we all do it.

Truth is, It’s never about you.

Your potential buyer isn’t interested in the bills you need to pay. They just want to get a job done or a problem solved and they’ve got money for it.

But if there’s even a hint of neediness in your approach – if you make it about you – you’ll break trust and they’ll go elsewhere.

You might know for a fact that education X is going to be awesome for your child, but if they go for it because of your persuasive powers instead of their own desire, they’ll likely loathe it and/or drop out.

You’ll have made their path about you and your views, and not about them and their future.

Your course, project, training, art or book might be radically life-changing – but it’ll only have that effect on others if you sell it for the purpose of changing the life of others first, and that of yourself second.

No matter how good our intentions, your point of origin matters a lot when it comes to those intentions becoming real.

It’s easy to drive on with our point, because we think we know what’s best.

But even if we’re right and we do know, insisting on or enforcing our views makes it about us, making the other you’re doing it for, tune out.

Whatever result you want to achieve with someone, be it in a business or personal context: make it about them. You’ll get a lot more done.

Cheers,

Martin

Guaranteed to Cause Radical Improvement in Any Relationship Real Quick

If there’s one thing guaranteed to ruin relationships, it’s blaming other people.

This one doesn’t put the cap on the toothpaste, that one doesn’t eat their veggies, the bus driver acted like a jerk, your boss is an idiot, your father is selfish, your employees underperform, your competitor cheats, banks are swindlers and politicians are liars…

Blame, blame, blame.

A world of people who are ‘doing it wrong’, and: if only they’d get it, and change their ways.

THEN your life would finally become easier.

Well, sorry but it just don’t work that way.

No matter what someone else does, does wrong, or doesn’t do:

You’ll never in a million years change them.

And as long as you blame the other, you’re the victim.

Poor me, suffering at the hands of all those idiots out there.

I say, flip it around.

Instead of blaming others, what about taking ownership?

What would your life be like if you were fully, 100% responsible?

I’m reminded of a navy seal whose platoon (or team, or whatever it’s called in the army) lost a soldier due to friendly fire.

As the leader of the team, he had to think long and hard about what had gone wrong, and there were all kinds of individuals and procedures to blame for the disaster.

But he ultimately realised that as the leader, there was only one person responsible: He himself.

He took full ownership of the problem. No blame, except unto himself.

And that, becoming fully responsible for whatever situation, is a masterful jedi-move.

It doesn’t mean you’re to blame for the situation – it means that you are the single responsible party for creating change or improvement.

It means that you ‘become the problem’.

And when you do that, things change drastically, real fast.

So if your world is filled with people who get to be blamed, I suggest a ‘no blame diet’.

For 21 days, monitor your words, actions, and above all: your thoughts.

Notice how much you’re in the habit of blaming others, and deliberately avoid saying or thinking anything that puts blame on the other person.

Inspire yourself, become the problem, blame nobody (not even yourself), and you’ll find yourself being the author of radical improvement in your relationships.

Do you dare to try?

Because not blaming and taking full ownership, is one of the bravest things we can do.

Do you dare – do you have the guts to go on a no-blame diet?

Cheers,

Martin

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