A Literary Goatherd? Now That's Why My Stuff Ain't Cheap, and Neither Should Yours Be

A few evenings ago I sauntered into my friend’s bar after my daily walk&webinar.

I enjoy walking at sunset with a good bit of audio to get my learn on.

Stitcher.com is my latest discovery.

Anyway, my friend introduced me to a guy called Manuel and we chatted for a while.

I instantly noticed his mental prowess – he had things to say and knew how to say them.

Not a very common occurrence in this very rural area.

He was, in a word, erudite.

At times almost lyrical.

Read moreA Literary Goatherd? Now That's Why My Stuff Ain't Cheap, and Neither Should Yours Be

I Come From the Future. You Should Go to China

First, a public service announcement: If you’re waiting for an email from me, or if I’m meant to follow up but haven’t yet – do please forgive. I’ve had a bitch of a month, with my computer getting hacked, then my site going down, followed by my backups being corrupted – it’s been stressful and I’m only now catching up. But, normality has been restored so let’s carry on with our scheduled program…


“I come from the future. You should go to China.”

I love me a good sci-fi film.

That line is from the time-travel flick Looper, with Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

In one scene, Joseph tells his boss that he’s planning to go to France.

Boss: “You should go to China.”

Joseph: “I’m going to France.”

Boss: “I come from the future. You should go to China”.

Joseph: “I’m going to France”.

Read moreI Come From the Future. You Should Go to China

No, but I Insist: The Yay is on You

Michal writes in, raving about how much she likes my emails, and how smart I am and all those nice things that make a little Stellar feel really good.

Except, I’m not to blame.

All that she gets from my writing isn’t down to my being especially smart. It’s down to her, entirely.

The internet is a big place, and you bet there are people who are much smarter, much nicer, much more motivational and much more on the ball than I am.

And yet, she reads me all the time, and keeps getting ideas that help her.

Not someone else – no, she likes to read that nutty Dutchman in Spain.


Read moreNo, but I Insist: The Yay is on You

Here You Go: Some Advice I'm Not Qualified to Give

I’m not a parent.

As such, I have little right to tell parents what’s right and wrong.

But, I know a few things about psychology, and with that I can see that some parents are doing damage without being aware of it.

And, there’s a sales lesson in it, so read on even if you don’t have children.

I just watched Jimmy Kimmel’s April fool’s day video.

Read moreHere You Go: Some Advice I'm Not Qualified to Give

More Ethics = More Sales

I was listening to an interview with one of the world’s leading copywriters.

All very interesting, nice guy, great tips.

The guy is a rockstar for a reason.

And then he got to the point: “And here’s how you write a testimonial”.

He what?

He’s actually teaching people how to write fake testimonials?

As in, fabricating a customer commentary?

Ok, how about this, Mr. John Bigshot.

Read moreMore Ethics = More Sales

I Just Got Sold to and Rarely Am I This Happy

Not only is it my birthday (that means presents for you – more on that later today), but I also was able to finally give a big, fat, offense, rabidly angry middle finger to my ISP.

They’re called Movistar here in Spain – but that’s just a new name they took on because of the royally screwed reputation Telefonica has built for themselves. Telefonica – Movistar = same same.


Walking through town yesterday, I saw three guys with Jazztel uniforms and clipboards.

I remember Jazztel from a few years ago, and they rock. But, in this town they had no coverage so I had no choice but to go with Movistar when I moved back here a year ago.

And I really didn’t want to sign up with Movistar, because they suck hairy monkey balls.

I stopped the guys:

Read moreI Just Got Sold to and Rarely Am I This Happy

How to Sell an Encyclopedia to an Alien

Have you ever found yourself thinking: “Man, I really wish I had an encyclopedia”?

No? Neither have I.

And yet, there are people who think printing a 1000-volume encyclopedia is a really great idea.

They’re putting it into practice as we speak.

As far as I know, encyclopedias serve two purposes:

1: For people who want to fill out their bookshelves so as to demonstrate how well-read they are (thereby demonstrating they’re not).

2: For itinerant salesmen to have something to sell.

I mean, isn’t it sad?

You go to view a house for rent, it’s all great and empty and clean – nothing lingers of the previous tenants – except for the entire 24-part encyclopedia they left on a shelf.

Ok, so I’m being snide: of course an encyclopedia is useful.

But I’m pretty sure that only a very small percentage of owners will ever open a volume.

Which begs the question: Why the hell would someone want to print out Wikipedia?

Read moreHow to Sell an Encyclopedia to an Alien

The Key to Their Hearts + More Sales

Back in the day when my dad was courting my mother, they used to go to Scheveningen, to the Kurhaus beachfront hotel.

Most nights, there was a Hungarian pianist playing,  called Sandor Vidak.

And every time my future parents walked in, Sandor would do something special.

As soon as he’d notice her, he would stop playing whatever he was in the middle of, and start playing ‘her’ song.

I don’t remember which song it was, but I imagine it must have been special.

No surprise: She’s an impressive appearance – nowadays as she was then.

Read moreThe Key to Their Hearts + More Sales

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