How to Use Marketing to Get Liked More, Instead of Pissing People Off. Or Having Them Call the Police

 

Eggs!!!

Saw a great example just now of some of the worst, most ineffective and piss-off marketing you can imagine.

And another example of doing marketing very right, which makes a great illustration of why I write these daily emails.

Here goes.

We get a lot of peddlers here in the South of Spain.

The beaches are swarming with young guys from Africa, selling trinkets and tribal statuettes from their home country.

And each day, someone drives his van through town, hawking his wares

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The Return of the Killer Comma, or: How to Destroy the Expensive Salescopy You Just Bought

I’m proud of my work, but I’m not precious about it.

I’m happy to work with client feedback.

The interchange is often very useful – it helps me create better copy.

It’s a little bit more delicate when a client starts to edit the copy on their own, but I’m not against it.

But sometimes, things go wrong

When a project is finished, and we’ve signed off on the copy, the best thing is to leave it good and well alone.

Again: not because I’m precious about my copy or because it would hurt my professional pride.

No, it’s because edits after the fact can render a good page completely ineffective.

Even very small tweaks, the kind you think won’t make that much of a difference.

They do make a difference.

Big difference too.

Can kill your copy right dead.

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Tell Me If You've Heard This One: I Used to Be a Tailor

Not the kind that shortens trousers for your dry cleaner, either.

I’m what is called a bespoke tailor.

That means I used to create fully handmade suits, entirely made to individual measurements.

I used to be pretty good at it too: People used to call me an artist, and said things like ‘magnificent’ and ‘most comfortable ever’.

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Fish Net Stocking Biker Suits???

I crack open a beer as my friend Jan pulls up on his motorbike.

It’s high summer in Holland – a dry and sweltering 35 degrees Celsius –  and I’m sitting in the shade behind my house.

Been looking forward to see Jan, it’s been months.

He steps off the bike and the first thing I do after giving him a big hug is push a cold can on him.

The helmet and the sweat have plastered his hair flat against his head and around his face.

“Hang on, let me take this off first”.

I sit back down and watch him peel his leather biker suit off him. Zippers left and right, straps and buckles, boots and gloves…

He must be absolutely boiling in that suit.

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Do What You Say, or They Walk Away. (Good Thing I'm Not a Poet)

Sometimes, big boys make big mistakes.

Today I received an email from WhichTestWon (interesting site, btw – I can recommend it if you’re into testing).

Which by the way, is something I recommend to all my clients. Test, test always be testing. Test early, test often.

Anyway, onwards: the email promised me a free download which looked interesting: Touted as a brand new 20 page whitepaper, I decided to click and get it.

I was taken to a site (not the WhichTestWon website) and landed on a squeeze page.

The call to action was: Fill out the form, receive the white paper by email.

Proceed to fill out form, click, page reloads…

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Drink First, Kiss Later

 

Imagine you’re a guy in a bar, and you see an amazingly attractive woman.

You go up to her, you tell her your name, and you instantly lean in to plant a big smacker on her lips.

Nobody in the world would take that approach, right?

If you were to try, you’d be more likely to receive a slap in the face than a kiss.

No surprises.

Except, thousands upon thousands of businesses do exactly the same thing with their customers.

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Does Humour Belong in Marketing?

People don’t buy from Clowns.

-Claude C. Hopkins

Some say no, humour does not belong in marketing. We’re supposed to inform and persuade, and we’re not meant to be funny.

Dean Rieck has an excellent piece that explains in full rational justification why humour doesn’t sell.

And yet…

This ad for a television network gets it absolutely spot on.

Why?

 

Because the message and the way it’s formatted (played out, rather) are absolutely, perfectly apt for the audience. People who enjoy drama, fun and entertainment on TV – well that ad gives them precisely that, doesn’t it?

I suppose it comes down to really knowing your customer. Knowing them so well that you know exactly what will and will not work for them. If it’s humour that will work for them? Then you just might want to inject some fun in your marketing.

Just be careful, because you have to get it exactly right. If it’s over the top, or if it’s ‘look how clever I am’, it can backfire.

Humour in marketing works, but not always. Proceed with caution.

How Far Would You Go To Engage a Reader?

If you’re going to cause people to take action…

If you’re going to make sales…

If you want to earn money by solving problems for people…

You have to – absolutely must – be able to have those people relate to you and your message.

For that, you need to know who they are.

You need to know exactly what their pain-points are, before you can explain astutely what solution you are offering them.

Yesterday, this became clear to me in a new way.

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You Would Think Someone at Expedia Would Have Been Awake

Last week I came across an article on Silicon.com with the title: ‘How one extra data field can cost 12 Million’. I went to have a read and saw the opening sentence:


Online travel firm Expedia has found that data analytics can deliver a multi-million dollar kick to a company’s bottom line.

What a complete load of hogwash. Data analytics?

I call bollocks.

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A Friendly Open Question For Clay Collins

I like Clay Collins. I think he’s very smart, funny and helpful, and I’ve learned a lot from him, and still do. That’s why I’m subscribed to his marketing show and that’s why I received the email that ultimately led to this post – and hopefully to a bit of friendly debate.

Clay Did Something I Didn’t Really Like – And it Confused Me. A LOT.

Last week, an email notification flashed across my screen, announcing a message from Clay. Subject header: ‘Hater’.

Now, I’m a guy who lives and dies by the power of words – quite literally. I also like to philosophise about things like ethics, psychology and semantics, amongst a bunch of other things.

As such, the word ‘hate’ is one that I rarely, if ever, use.

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