The Benefits of having Problems – And How to Get Rid of Them

One of the most fascinating things I learned about human psychology has to do with problems.

Specifically, the way we actively keep certain problems in our lives, even though we don’t want to.

We say we want to drop a bad habit, and we mean it, yet we don’t do it.

We convince ourselves and others that we’re finally going to create financial success, and yet we don’t do those things that make it happen.

We promise that we’ll finally get our act together, but we keep mucking about.

So what’s going on there?

Why do we not rid ourselves of the problems that bother us?

You might think up all kinds of reasons: fear of failure, low self-esteem, fear of success – but that doesn’t help you change the situation.

Instead, throw a coaching question at it:

What is the upside of keeping the problem in your life?

When you ask that question, you enter into the subconscious.

Because on some level, part of you wants to keep the problem there, for some benefit or other.

Bad eating habits have the benefit of pleasing the inner child. Yay, icecream!

Living in poverty can have the benefit of confirming a belief that ‘we’re better than those who have money’.

Being addicted to the TV has the benefit of knowing that ‘I care, so I keep up with world events’.

And those benefits can be good and useful, but if you need to experience that benefit by maintaining a habit, you need to make some changes.

You need to find a different way to experience the benefit.

A different trigger, one that doesn’t require the problem to exist in your life.

So here’s a fun exercise:

What’s a big problem in your life?

What’s the upside of keeping the problem around?

What other ways can you create, so as to experience the benefit it brings?

Sit with this, mull it over.

You might be surprised how easy it can be to get rid of pesky problems.

And with that, I wish you a wonderful weekend.

Cheers,

Martin

P.s. There’s still one seat free in The Cabal, so if you’ve been on the fence, maybe jump off and apply for membership.

The team will help you solve your problems, and I’ll throw coaching questions at you.

Just answer these questions to get started: https://martin283.typeform.com/to/Tu3zmZ


Also published on Medium.

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