“If there’s anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!”
~ Zaphod Beeblebrox, President of the Galaxy
Oh yes, my ego is big.
Truly very enormous.
In fact, it’s so big that researchers recently discovered it exerts its own gravitational pull on celestial bodies.
Like, all those comets and meteorites that keep nearly hitting us lately?
Yeah um… sorry about that. Gravity sucks.
Seriously though: sometimes people tell me I’m arrogant, that I have an inflated sense of self.
Ok fine, I plead guilty. That said, I’m actually a guy with a ho’ bunch of insecurities.
Do I hide them behind fake confidence, do I use arrogance to not appear insecure?
I don’t know. Maybe, but I don’t think so.
What I do know is that very often when someone reacts to me with ‘ego’ or ‘arrogant’ – there’s a misunderstanding of some sort.
To me, being able to say: “This is what I do. I’m good at it” is not arrogance at all.
It’s just recognising that you have a strong ability in something.
Is that arrogance, is it egotistical?
Of course not.
In fact, I’d say that assuming a ‘small me’ attitude is a bigger form of ego-munching.
Well, consider this: if you bake a stellar apple-pie, and everyone goes: “Dude…. that is just SO succulent – you’re the bee’s knees at making pie”, and you go all: “Oh well, it’s just a pie, it’s nothing special, my neighbour now SHE makes great pies” – that’s when you’re polishing your ego.
You humble yourself, defer the credit and kudos – and what do we think of humble people?
We like them. Humility is a quality.
And making yourself look not good at somehing even if you are, that’s fooling everyone and probably yourself – and it’s a MASSIVE way to stroke your own ego.
“Aw, look at how humble I am…”
Even Anne Frank pointed out how ridiculous it is, and she was like 14 when she wrote it.
Now, back to you: Do what you do, do it well, and don’t be ashamed to say that yes – this or that thing – you’re good at it. Really good, even.
Not an I-fest, not to boast – but just state the fact, if it is a fact.
Bit too close for comfort, all this?
I can imagine.
Society is always ready to punch us down, tell us we’re not anything special, that what we do well is just something that others do better.
Well, society can take a running jump for all I care, if it teaches you to not value what you do, and disables you from neutrally stating it.
There are things you’re good at.
You know it.
You should be able to say so, too.
Say it: “I’m good at […]”
Then get back to work and go do that thing.
Then, do it again.
Before long, you’ll find that you no longer need fake humility and that hey, there’s nothing arrogant about saying you do things well.
And, you’ll also find that if you find the confidence in knowing and saying what you’re good at…
People will recognise that it’s real, authentic.
And guess what, Bubba: that makes them buy from you.
Like that scene in The Grifters, with John Cusack and Anjelica Huston:
“What is it that you sell, exactly?”
Want to sell your own self-confidence?
Lemme show you da way –> http://martinstellar.com/starship-mentorprise-writing-coach/