Ok, it’s presumptuous of me to speak for Mr. Shaw, but whatever – I’ll take that liberty, because I’m sure he’d be happy if more people realised the wisdom of his words.
Because yes, we often think we communicate, when actually we don’t.
That is: we think we communicate thing A, and then act all surprised (or even upset) when it appears that the other person heard thing B.
If you’ve ever been in a situation where you found yourself thinking ‘why are they not getting it?’, then that’s what happened.
You said one thing, but the other heard another thing.
Of course you can blame the other for being stubborn or contrary, and in some cases that may be at play – but even then, that does not exonerate you from the responsibility of communicating in a different way, and trying to find out how to get your message across.
And this applies everywhere: In business and selling; at home; with your spouse or kids; with your students or team mates or prospects:
It’s on us to find the way ‘in’, and figure out how to get the right message across.
And here’s the secret: saying more won’t help more.
In fact, when two parties think that communication has taken place when it hasn’t, the number of things said are inversely proportional to the degree of understanding.
Put differently: if the other person doesn’t seem to get you, explaining harder will be counterproductive.
Instead, ask questions.
Because unless you learn more about the other person and what they heard and what they think of it, how are you going to accurately adjust your message?
When you find that a buyer (or friend or team mate or spouse) isn’t getting what you mean, ask yourself this:
What did they hear me say?
How does it differ from what I meant?
What should I ask them, to figure out how to adjust the message I’m trying to communicate?
A useful tool in all communication – and especially in the context of selling and signing up clients.
Incidentally (actually: intentionally) that’s why the system I designed to help you generate sales now that everything business has changed or stalled, starts with asking questions.
It’s the only way to figure out what new, changed needs your buyers have, so that you can create offers that they’ll want.
And that will enable you to create a new revenue centre, even when right now everything is so complicated.
Also published on Medium.