Martin Stellar - Coach & Consultant for ethical sales and business growth

Martin Stellar - Coach & Consultant for ethical sales and business growth

A Few Select Individuals…

Saying ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’ is nice, but incomplete.

Better would be ‘nothing changes if *nobody* changes’.

The easy option is expecting others to change (with the additional entitlement bonus of getting upset when they don’t. Double win).

Who&how you were is what got you here, and you’ve probably already experienced that this iteration of you has run into its limitations.

But if you decide to change (change yourself, not other people) you’ll find that the you that you’ll be, will get you more, new, different, and better things.

The mistake most people make is ignoring that ‘change the self’ bit, and instead try to change external factors: people, marketing, website, reactions, team members… you name it. Anything other than ‘self’, please.

I promise, it won’t get you what you want. At best you’ll get a small set of the outcomes you want, but not all of them.

But if you make it your mission to change yourself instead of other&external, you’ll find that you get exactly what you want, because you’ll be adjusting your self, vision, goals and desired outcomes, in alignment with the way things develop.

Which means you might end up with a Blue Maserati instead of a red Ferrari, but hey: Sportscar, right?

When you make your mission to change the external, you’re imposing your will on the world, and I’ve found the world is entirely aloof of whatever the hell we happen to want. The world just doesn’t give a damn, and tends to show us more resistance, the more we try to change it.

But work with what the world shows you, and allow yourself to flow through the experience of discovering how to get the most out of what you have at your disposition?

Magic. Promise.

Want to experience what that’s like?

Then maybe 2019 is the year where you’ll get me to show you how to do it: to move effortlessly through life and business, with a clear sense of direction, execution on exactly the projects and tasks that will get you the results you want,
and the uncanny experience that hey, you got this down pretty good.

Want?

Holler.

Cheers,

Martin

P.s. I’m looking for a few very select entrepreneurs to work with starting January. This is in the form of an in-depth, virtually unlimited coaching programme that runs for 3 months.
It’s intense, and while it’s a sizeable investment in increased well-being and business results, it happens to be extraordinarily effective for the right person (i.e. one who takes full ownership of behaviour and actions and wants to not make the mistake of expecting others to fix things).
Let me know if that’s you, and we’ll have a chat to see if we’re a good match.
Incidentally, ‘a few select individuals’ is entirely accurate. There’s VERY few people in the world who are actually gutsy enough to exclusively look for solutions within self. Apply if applicable.

I Hope I’ll Never win the Lottery

… and you might want to wish the same for yourself.

And not because I’m a Grinch or anything like that: I honestly wish you all the well-being and happiness, and yes, all the money you could ever dream of.

But if money gets thrown into your lap, it’s statistically almost certain that you’ll lose it all, quick smart.

I didn’t make that up: it’s what happens with most people who win the lottery.

Nearly all of them end up exactly where they were, and often with bad outcomes, such as damaged relationships, addictions, or other big problems.

Buying a yacht is fun, but paying for moorage once the money runs out is disastrous. And dammit, where am I going to store my jet?

A bigger problem though, it the attitude.

Hoping you’ll win the lottery is like expecting angels to magically make your life amazing and awesome.

And even if angels did exist, I promise you they’d do nothing of the sort, unless you’d be showing them that you’re putting in the effort.

Rolling up your sleeves, doing the work.

Creating your own awesome life or fortune or whatever it is you wish for.

Hoping for a big win is a victim’s game, where you’re the patiently waiting beneficiary. Don’t buy into it.

Much more effective (and fun, and rewarding) is challenging yourself to make the most out of all that you have at your disposition.

And that’s not a little.

Between your life experience, ability to learn, creative resourcefulness, network and support, and a fount of energy that renews itself daily, you can do awesome things.

But, only if you’re the one in charge.

One of the things I enjoy when coaching people is identifying all the assets and potential available, and then helping a people create ways to leverage those.

Each time I play that game with people, terrific things happen, not the least of which is the sense of agency and control in the other person.

Want some of that?

Let me know…

Cheers,

Martin

An ROI You Probably Never Considered – but It Might Be the Most Profitable Ever…

An ROI you’ve probably never considered before – but it just might be the most profitable

We invest in learning, and develop skills.

Invest in SEO, and get more traffic.

Money into a new website, and you get more conversion and transaction from your visitors.

Invest in a new computer, and your workflow speeds up.

None of those are bad, but investing in nuts&bolts is only the basic level.

The real ROI to watch for, is Return On Insight.

Because what you bring into sight, becomes something you get to monitor, measure, and improve.

When you gain insight into:

… your default reaction when someone pushes your buttons (blame, anger, denial, self-recrimination etc etc), you get to gradually block that reaction, and react in a different way.

… the way you tend to procrastinate over and over on exactly the things that drive growth (something I tend to do and so might you), you get to make a decision about changing that behaviour.

… how repeatedly spending time on activities that hardly move the needle on your business or wellbeing, you get to make choices on different ways to spend your precious time and energy.

They say nothing changes if nothing changes, and the best, most effective and often profitable change to make, is on the amount of insight you have into the way you operate in life.

It’s tempting to invest in practical matters, nuts&bolts tactics, and learning things. Useful, even.

But your results will never be large if you don’t also develop insight, or put differently: self-awareness.

And thus, welcome to the world of coaching, where insight and self-awareness are what bring you the biggest returns, beginning with your own sense of well-being, control, and a sense of ‘getting it right’.

Some people balk at that, and prefer to invest in ‘things’ that are meant to increase net returns. You’ll find plenty of teachers and service providers who’ll be happy to deliver, and you’ll get marginal results (sounds familiar?)

Others – the smart ones – don’t discount those kinds of investments, but they make the development of insight and self-awareness a priority.

If you’re the latter, maybe we should talk?

Cheers,

Martin

Anxiety, Terrible Driving, and Making Sense

It’s mid-nineties, and a young novice monk named Martin is in the passenger seat of an old Land Rover, on his way with his brothers to a retreat in the South of Spain.

And he’s petrified, just absolutely mortified and anxious, because of the way the driver handles the wheel.

Sloppy driving, edging up close to cars ahead, not signalling, braking later than necessary or prudent…

Young Martin is very afraid – almost convinced – that nobody will make it to the border, much less to Spain.
This went on for hours, and I sat there biting my tongue, severely not enjoying the experience.

Until at some point, a moment of reason set in:

This guy driving, he’d had his license for years.

And for all his sloppiness, he’d never been in an accident.

That didn’t change the fact that his driving was terrible, but it was nowhere near as dangerous as I was telling myself it was.

And the moment I realised this, my fear and anxiety were gone, and I was able to relax quite a bit.

Behold the problems that arise from our human condition of irrationality.

I’d created an entire world of gloom and doom, based on my opinions, judgements, and thoughts on someone else’s behaviour.

But the moment a rational thought (“He’s done this safely for years”) set in, all that panic was gone in a puff of rationality.

I’ve said it before: humans are incredibly irrational beings, and unless we acknowledge our own irrationality and try to bring SENSE into the picture, we either live in anxiety and fear, or we keep making decisions that just don’t make any sense, with all the bad outcomes that come from that.

Want a calmer, more fulfilling and happier life?

Start making sense.

Want better outcomes from your decisions?

Start making sense.

Want some help in making the best, most sensible decisions for your business in 2019?

Talk to Martin.

Cheers,

Martin

The Wrong FAQ: “How Do I Find Buyers?”

It’s one of the most frequent question I get from business owners:

“How do I find my clients and buyers?”

Looks a useful and important question, right?

After all, without buyers you don’t have a business.

But it’s not the question to ask yourself – or indeed, the question to ask me.

A much better question is “How do I make myself findable?”

See, if you’re out there trying to find buyers, you’re positioning yourself as the (pardon the metaphor) hunter, and you make it your job to find and hunt the ‘prey’.

And that’s a fundamentally flawed approach.

A buyer isn’t prey, not in any sense of the word – and you shouldn’t be hunting for them.

A buyer is someone who really wants what you have, to the point of wanting to part with money in order to get it.

And what does that make you, instead of a hunter?

It makes you into a prize.

Something desirable, a provider of goods or services who’s desirable, and who’s worth money.

Doesn’t it sounds much nicer to be sought after, rather than to be ’out on a hunt’?

It’s a simple flip-over of attitude and perspective, and if you make that switch, business becomes very different.

So then, how exactly do you become findable?

Can’t tell, you, there’s no one answer because it depends on many moving parts.

Happy to talk with you and find out though what will be the most effortless and effective way for your particular situation.

Hit reply and let’s set up a time, yes?

Cheers,

Martin

Levity in Life? Yours for the Having

Last week I gave a coaching session to a Canadian artist – something I do on occasion, when I meet someone who comes in with the right attitude and mindset.

A few days later, she writes an email saying this:

“Thank you again for an amazing 2 hours last Friday. I feel like a new person. It’s Sunday, and I feel like I am still maintaining the same energy from when our call ended. A weight has been lifted.
~ Zoey Zoric”

And that – a weight has been lifted – that’s exactly the outcome I like to help people reach.

Because yes, life is meant to be lived with effortless mastery.

But you can only get there if you’re willing to look in the mirror, and have the guts to drop those ‘safe and comfortable’ (they actually aren’t – they’re nothing more than self-made prisons) beliefs and viewpoints that make life heavy.

And when you’re willing to do that?

Then your life changes.

You experience creative resourcefulness, you get the outcomes you want, and you become far more effective and efficient.

So, can you identify with Zoey, in that: you want to drop what weighs you down, and you’re willing to work with the notion that the only change that will make it happen is the change that happens in you, your mind, and your way of thinking&feeling?

If that’s you, I’m curious what ‘weight’ in life you’d like to drop, and what your goals or ambitions are.

Drop me a line, let me know…

Cheers,

Martin

Of Helping and Hurting

Of course I like helping people. Every sane and healthy person does, if only because it confirms your values and makes you feel good about yourself.

But helping people isn’t why I’m a coach – something I only figured out a few months ago.

No, the real reason I coach people is because I hurt.

Not in a woe-betide me way, or suffering life – you’ll know by now that I’m not in favour of victimism, and self-pity is the scourge of a life well-lived.

No, I hurt because I see so many people who could live SUCH better lives, have better relationships, earn more money, be healthier, more fulfilled, less anxious… and yet many of the people I see in my practice and my daily life just never really reach those higher levels.

And for someone who cares as much about people as yours truly, you better believe that hurts like crazy.

Especially given that reaching those higher levels of money, well-being, success and whatever you desire isn’t complicated.

It’s not hard or difficult.

It’s not a struggle, and what’s more: the attitude of struggling or fighting is antithetical to running your life or business with ease and glee.

Key distinction here: the attitude is something you choose, always. It’s not because of how life messes with you that you struggle, but because you haven’t made the choice to live it masterfully, with ease and grace.

Make that choice, and everything changes. Promise.

And seeing people refuse that choice, and fight and struggle instead, well that hurts me.

And so I became a coach (hi!), because it’s the best way I know to help people.

When you do make the choice though, to accept that literally everything is a matter of how you handle your thoughts and perception, magic happens.

Like my client and friend Paula Mould, who just sent me a beautiful email expressing how thoroughly she’s enjoying her life these days – despite a recent divorce and enormous changes in her business (she closed her company down and pivoted completely – super hard process, but she’s masterfully made it work).

And how she got there?

With a little help from me, and a TON of self-reflection, looking in the mirror, and accepting full responsibility for her life and business – and by rigourously refusing to play the game called ‘blame life’.

And if you’re ready to do the same, I have an idea for you:

Right now, I’m looking for a few very select people, who want to start 2019 on a rocket.

As in: get the best possible start to make the year your best ever, with a little help from Martin.

Is that you?

Then let me know, and let’s have a chat.

Cheers,

Martin

I’m Not Saying You Can Predict the Future, but: You Can Predict the Future

More specifically: you, the daily-life conscious individual you are, obviously can not predict the future, but:

Your lizard brain kinda can.

It’s the oldest part of the brain, way way older than the frontal cortex that enables you to think, and as such it’s got millions of years of evolutionary experience in perceiving things, extrapolating them, and assessing whether or not some is a risk or instead an opportunity to increase well-being.

In other words, it’s got a dead-right instinct for how to keep you safe, drive you away from pain, and towards pleasure, which is its only job description: keep ‘em safe, make ’em happy. Basically.

And the more you learn to trust it, the more you’ll be amazed by its uncannily accurate knack for intuiting the outcome of situations and decisions.

Problem is, we can’t access the lizard brain directly, we have no ears to listen and it doesn’t have a mouth to speak. It doesn’t communicate in thought, the way the frontal cortex does.

But, it does speak to us, and it does so by talking to our gut, in a way.

That’s where you notice its messages.

Gut-instinct is real and should be taken seriously.

And it’s very easy to figure out what you’re being told, what the message is about.

Imagine you’re considering taking on a new client, or a new job, or you’re planning on a trip…

If the thought produces a tense, clenched kind of feeling in the lower abdomen, it’s a sign that there’s something not right, and you’re being warned of some kind of risk or danger.

If however the feeling is higher in the abdomen and feels more like a warm, expanding kind of excitement (which often goes together with some nervousness or even anxiety), it’s a sign that there’s an opportunity for well-being or increased happiness on the horizon.

So whatever situation or opportunity appears in life and whatever you think or feel about it, never forget to listen to what your lizard brain is trying to tell you about it.

And hey, if you presently have something in your life that your gut says is an awesome opportunity, but you want to make sure you’ll make the right decisions?

Then maybe I ought to coach you through the process.

I can’t promise we’ll be right for each other, but I’m pretty good at helping people make decisions.

Drop me a line if you’d like to talk and see if we resonate…

Cheers,

Martin

The One Choice That Will Make or Break Your Happiness, Wellbeing, and/or Business

There’s three kinds of people, and the one you choose to be determines your happiness, wellbeing, and most of all, your results.

The victim blames themselves for everything, and lives in misery.

The one who blames others is a victim turned bully, and lives in anger and disapproval.

I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be either of those.

Me, I prefer to be the third kind:

The owner, the agent, the one in control of self.

In other words, the only one responsible for creating change – where the only change to be made is one in you.

So who do you want to be?

Victim? Victim-turned-bully?

Or do you want to take ownership and gain control over your life…?

If you’re the latter (or you’re not but you REALLY want to be), you’re my kinda person, and maybe we should talk because I just might be able to help.

But even if we don’t, remember: who you choose to be and how you choose to be, determines how your life – and your business – will be.

Choose wisely…

Cheers,

Martin

Weapons of Mess Destruction

Your attic fills till the floor sags.

Your todo list grows until it looks like it will implode under its own weight.

Your projects, plans, fomo-triggered experiments, ‘great ideas’ and must-watch webinars pile up until you feel overwhelmed, stressed and confused.

The number of different tactics you’re using to try and grow your business spread you thin and the total impact of your efforts goes down.

All this and more, an ongoing accretion of *stuff* in your life.

The ongoing entropy we can’t escape.

But, we can end it.

Provided we use what I call ‘weapons of mess disruption’.

Examples:

Elimination. All the items on your todo list that you keep not getting around to, eliminate them and move them to a someday list.

Your attic, garage, office drawers, desk: throw stuff away, or store for later sorting. (but throwing away is usually better).

All the books and webinars and ‘can’t miss’ free trainings that some vendor you can’t afford to not consume: out the window.

Another weapon: saying no.

Demands on your time, clients you don’t love working with, people who nag and complain: say no.

And another one: prioritisation. You can’t have more than one priority, so pick one thing, and work on only that – for an hour, or day, or until done. Then you move on to the next one.

Lack of clarity? Take some time for intelligent reflection, with a notebook and a pen.

One more: Decision. What will you, or won’t you, let into your life?

See the bigger picture here?

It’s about you being the agent, making the decisions, and you creating a context for optimal performance.

Life will throw stuff at you (and marketers as well), but it’s your job to decide what you allow into your life.

If you don’t things become messy, very quickly.

But you have an arsenal of weapons of mess destruction (or tools, if you find ‘weapons’ too aggressive – but tools of mess destruction don’t sound as good).

Anyway, reflection and decision are you strongest tools.

Use ‘em and you’ll see mess turn into clarity.

Does this ring true but you’re not sure what to choose, what to keep, what to eliminate?

Then let’s talk. Helping create clarity and making optimal choices is my job, and I’m here to help.

Blam blam,

Martin

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