Martin Stellar - Coach & Consultant for ethical sales and business growth

Martin Stellar - Coach & Consultant for ethical sales and business growth

In Love With Life and With Your Business

Artists will know what I’m talking about:

Imagine you’re drawing a portrait.

It all looks good enough: the eyes and mouth are in the right place, nose too&not upside down… shading is correct… it’s all there.

And yet, there’s something missing. Something is not right – it seems unalive, off, not quite lifelike.

So, what if your life feels that way?

What if it’s all nice, and good, and you manage life’s tribulations fine and you have nothing to complain about, but it just doesn’t feel alive – doesn’t make you *feel* alive?

If it’s about art, the solution is simple: learn more, practice more. Probably 10% learning and 90% practice.

With life, you get to practice every day on how to best live it, so you’ve got that going for you.

That leaves the question of what to learn.

Of course, you’re already on the case: you read the books, watch the videos, go to the retreats and workshops….

But who’s going to show you what, for your case specifically, you ought to practice?

Which book will give you the exact recipe – the prescription, if you will – for coming alive, living to the fullest… where will you find the exact practices that you need in order to be utterly in love with your life and your business?

Truth is, you can’t find those in books or trainings – not in a specific way, tailored to your station in life, your vision, and to those things that make you come alive.

So who then will show you how to practice and what to practice, in order to live better?

The Cabal could show you…

My private coaching group – a very intimate, very powerful team of seasoned creative entrepreneurs.

You don’t just get coaching from me, but you also get the entire group unleash its shared compassion and wisdom on you.

And you better believe that it’ll change your world.

Membership is by invitation and interview only though – this isn’t your typical ‘open to all’ coaching group.

That’s why I hand-pick new members, to make sure that the match in terms of experience and personality will work for the group, and for the individual members.

For more info on how the group works, see here: http://martinstellar.com/cabal-group-coaching-action-takers/

Cheers,

​Martin

About That Ad I Showed You Yesterday… And You, the Hero

There’s a meme that’s been going round for decades: that Ernest Shackleton posted the following ad in a newspaper, when trying to recruit crew for his Antarctic expedition.


Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success.
Ernest Shackleton

Now, obviously I’m not going to sail a ship into the Antarctic ice. So why did I rewrite the ad yesterday? (aside from having fun doing a bit of my old job – copywriting)

Men and women wanted for risky journey… Extreme commitment required, long periods of doubt and second-guessing, constant risk. Success as likely as complete failure. Prosperity and recognition in case of success.
Reply to learn more.

Point is, I’m trying to tell you something about yourself.

Something that, if you take it on board, can have a profound and lasting impact on your life.

Meaning, a specific attitude I’d like for you to play with. Adopt even, maybe.

In my world, I’m an explorer. I might not be Shackleton or anything extravagant like that, but I’m as much trying to find my way – and survive, with all my limbs please – as best as can in this crazy and constantly surprising world.

Everybody is. So to me, everybody is an explorer. Whether consciously or not. Whether someone deliberately lives that way, or not.

And the entrepreneur?

Well, that’s the one I wrote my version of the ad for.

Here it is again:

Men and women wanted for risky journey…Extreme commitment required, long periods of doubt and second-guessing, constant risk. Success as likely as complete failure. Prosper  ity and recognition in case of success.

Reply to learn more.

Absolutely true, isn’t it?

So yeah. You’re on as risky a voyage as Shackleton, except the risk isn’t life or death. Same degrees of risk, and same highly unpredictable balance of probability between success and failure. There’s just no saying if you’ll ‘make it’ or not.

In other words:

Aw, my little hero, you.

And I mean that. Being an entrepreneur is, to me, a heroic thing.

And what I hope you bring into your life, is the attitude of a Shackleton: to rely fully on your skills and resourcefulness, and deliberately explore how to best ‘survive’ this entrepreneurial journey you’re on.

And in a very practical sense, I AM inviting you on a journey. No gloves and boots required, don’t worry.

I’m inviting you to apply to my private, POWERFUL coaching group The Cabal.

It’s a small, very together, team of creative professionals – and we’re looking for someone special, action-driven, and creative, to join our team.

And yes, it’s like the ad says. Requires commitment, will bring you through phases of doubt (which are awesome, once you get through them and we in the team will help you).

And, there’s risk too. Membership to this very exclusive group of salty (ha!) entrepreneurs comes at a cost, and there’s no telling when you start to see return on your investment. Could be a month, could be 3 – depends on many moving parts.

But we’ll be there to support you, and help you grow your business as fast as you can.

And that’s effective: one of our members saw her annual revenue multiply by five, last year.

Those effects can only come from changes on the inside – not from learning about Facebook Live or buying Google ads.

And that inside change, that’s what The Cabal is for.

Doors are open for application, and I’d love to find out if you and the group would be a good match.

Let me know if you feel the same.

Cheers,

​Martin

When a Buyer’s ‘No’ Is a Good Thing

Which is, basically, always. “No” is nowhere near as bad as you think.

Hey look, it’s never fun when someone decides to not buy from you.

But me, I welcome it. Because a No is the start of a relationship.

Not a professional one, sure. Doesn’t help your business… YET.

Follow my thinking here: most people consider a failed sale as an endpoint. Closed case.

One of those that got away.

But that’s a shame, because you never know when someone ends up being ready to get down to business.

Could be a week, a year, or three years.

And all you need to do is maintain a relationship with people.

Stay in touch. Share a book when you find one that’s perfect for them. See what they’re up to on social media. Answer a question, exchange emails.

You know: be a human being – which comes down to ‘being nice people’.

In my business, lots of clients ended up working with me months or even years after initially saying ‘nope’. Maybe as much as 50%.

That’s sales that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t stayed in touch and kept the relationship alive.

That ‘no’ you might dread so much?

Welcome it.

Here’s something for you to say no to, btw: my brand spanking new business-building, spot-coaching programme: http://martinstellar.com/business-growth-coaching-when-putting-off-the-important-work-is-no-
longer-acceptable/

Just don’t say no to putting off the important work, mkay? You’re welcome.

Cheers,

Martin

Attached to the Problem?

I keep seeing a strange and fascinating phenomenon:

People being really attached to their problems.

Saying they want to change, find a solution, get rid of it… but at the moment you start digging down and looking at solutions…

They shut down, lock up, and stay with the problem.

As if keeping the problem makes life more worthwhile.

Example: “I overthink stuff, I’m always stuck in my mind”.

Says me: “That can change. There’s ways to train your mind”.

“Really? I want that!”

But if I then suggest an action – journalling, meditating, long walks, a creative practice – it’s “But it’s good to think about things, it’s useful”.

Yeah, sure. If you’re happy being stuck in mind… go ahead and stay there.

Me, I find mind-space pretty boring, personally. What I *think* is rarely original, and often a re-run. That’s how mind works, just rehashing the same old stuff.

It’s only when I intuit, explore feelings and ideas, ideate and create – THAT’s when interesting stuff comes up in my mind. I feed my mind things that inspire, so that mind creates new things, instead of trying to use mind to get there which is laborious, slow, and uninspired.

Anyway, this whole ‘attached to problems’ attitude is very prevalent in Western culture, and I blame Freud.

It’s probably not all his fault, but he’s the one who made ‘problem thinking’ so popular.

And now we’re stuck with a view on our psyche that says there’s something wrong with us, by definition, and we need to fix it.

Fun fact: I used to date a therapist, who had the utterly bizarre view that every human being is by nature neurotic. And, she considered that a normal and good thing. Yea. People are weird.

Here’s my take: a problem (or issue, obstacle, stuckness or whatever) is only as important as you make it.

The amount of attention and thought you give it feeds it, gives it importance in your life and then you start to believe in that importance.

This doesn’t meant that a problem should be ignored – but breathing life into it sure doesn’t help. It’s bad enough as it is, why would you want to scale it up?

If it’s a problem you can fix, then get to work and fix it (it’ll probably take time, but that’s ok).

And if you are currently not able to fix it, then the worst possible thing to do is constantly spend mind-time on it. Problems don’t disappear from thinking, but from action. Once you’re thought about it left, right, up, down and under, you’ve probably thought all that you can about it.

Either fix it, or move on until you can actually do something about it.

Here’s the kicker:

If you find that you want to get rid of problem XYZ, and you know how to do it – but you don’t…

Would that be because you’re attached to it, for some reason or other?

Next: what benefit do you get from keeping the problem? There always is a (often twisted, but present nonetheless) benefit – what would it be?

Start there.

Cheers,

​Martin

Reading This Sentence Has Just Changed Your Brain…

… and I hope, in a good way. Either way, don’t worry: it’s not a big change. Probably just a few hundred neurons or whatever.

I’m being serious though: everything you do and think and feel has a physical effect on your brain.

There’s synapses and neurons and connections doing things, and subtly shifting levels of hormones and so on – a complex system of reactions, and it’s totally malleable.

They call it neuroplasticity: the fact that your brain changes continuously.

Most of it is in small ways, but ‘neurons that fire together, wire together’, which you’ve experienced as well:

If you give enough time to dedicated practice of something, it becomes second nature.

Now here’s where it gets interesting:

Without you knowing it, you’re heavily invested in a dedicated practice, mentally, of something that doesn’t benefit you.

How do I know? Because it’s human, we all do it.

I’m talking about randomly, willy-nilly spending our attention and thoughts on rubbish.

News stories, comparing yourself to others, negative self-talk, complaining about yourself or others in your head, rehearsing upcoming or rehashing past conversations (those last two can actually be useful, if done judiciously, and not compulsively), and whatever other pointless ways each of us spends our mental energy.

And here’s the thing: the more you do that, the more you change your brain.

The more you read the news, the more you programme that beautiful creative machine of yours, to tread in the familiar trail of narrative about current affairs and despicable people in places of power etc.

And is that really what you want your brain-machine to be configured for?

Or, how happy and/or successful do you think you’re going to be, if you persistently, every day, tell your brain to get better at complaining about how rotten everything is?

Or do you think you can become a success if you’re programming your brain to get better at telling yourself that you’re not ready/right/old enough/young enough for ‘it’?

Because if you allow your stream of thought, the one that goes on all day without you paying much attention to it, to harp on in that kind of direction, you’re effectively accumulating persistent tiny brain-change, into changes that become fixed and patterned.

The solution?

Point your thoughts there where you create positive changes in your brain.

As Lara Boyd says (who has an excellent video on youtube called ‘After seeing this, your brain won’t be the same’ and whose title I totally knocked off):

Build the brain you want.

I can tell you from experience she’s right.

I’ve spent 25 years learning how to build the brain I want, and I gotta tell you:

It’s awesome. Nowhere near perfect, but having this brain be the tool I want it to be, that’s priceless. Might want to look at how you’re building yours.

Now, if you want your brain to become a thing that keeps you focussed on doing the important work, and that effortlessly keeps you executing on them, then my new 15-minute per week spot-coaching gives you the kind of training and exercises that get you exactly that:

Growth-focussed decision and execution, easier every week, and far more affordable than any programme I’ve ever put out.

Hit reply to learn more…

Cheers,

​Martin

The Comparison Game, and How to Play it to Win

Ever had a problem come at you completely unexpected – something big and complex, and you just have no idea where to turn, to figure out how to handle it?

(Yeah you might think I’m going to say ‘talk to a coach’ now, but nope.)

When the proverbial hits the fan, it’s easy to despair, or panic, or feel like you might as well throw in the towel.

But if that happens, it means you’re making the wrong comparison.

You’re comparing the size of the current problem, to those that you’ve dealt with in the past. And boy, this time it’s a doozy, right?

Never had anything like this before, no idea how to deal!

Now, here’s the thing that doesn’t help: comparing yourself with the problems others have faced.

We know full well that other people, at other times, have successfully – sometimes even effortlessly – dealt with even bigger problems.

Victor Frankl’s imprisonment in a concentration camp, for example. Came out pretty well that dude, it seems.

So do I mean to say ‘others have it worse’ and tell you to man (woman/trans) up?

Nope. Because when you look at Frankl’s problem, you’re making the wrong comparison.

He was he, and he had *that* problem. And you are not he, nor do you have the same problem.

But think: what do you and Frankl have in common?

You’re both human.

And humans are magnificently talented and capable problem-solvers.

It’s built into our genes, otherwise we’d never have survived this long.

And you’re human: you too are a factory-built, highly specialised problem-solving machine.

So compare your current problem, to the extremely large innate ability to deal with the situation.

An ability that exists in you whether you believe it or not.

A very, very, VERY big ability.

Much bigger than that problem you’re facing, correct?

Aha… now we’re making an interesting – and useful – comparison, aren’t we?

Seen in this light, there’s no reason why a problem couldn’t be something you deal with efficiently.

You were born with the ability to do so, and it’s only your mind that can prevent you from acting the part.

Meaning: to step into that role of capable problem solver, and roll up your sleeves.

When you make this comparison, you enable yourself to tap into the creativity and resourcefulness that helps you deal with the thing. And then you get busy, and deal with it.

Speaking of rolling up your sleeves:

Are you in a place where you’re ready to take massive, Growth Driving Action in your business, but you lack the clarity on where to put your energy and/or accountability?

Like, you’re all fired up and doing stuff, but you’re just not sure you’re working on the things that will have the biggest impact?

Then my new spot-coaching programme will prove very useful to you.

It’s a monthly subscription, no commitment and at a very accessible fee – and it’s designed to get your business moving forward and increasing revenue fast by focussing on the highest-leverage actions your business needs.

Each week we meet for a laser-focused, action-oriented call, to get you and keep you moving and create growth.

Get in touch for more information about how it works…

Cheers,

​Martin

The Comparison Game, and How to Play it to Win

Ever had a problem come at you completely unexpected – something big and complex, and you just have no idea where to turn, to figure out how to handle it?

(Yeah you might think I’m going to say ‘talk to a coach’ now, but nope.)

When the proverbial hits the fan, it’s easy to despair, or panic, or feel like you might as well throw in the towel.

But if that happens, it means you’re making the wrong comparison.

You’re comparing the size of the current problem, to those that you’ve dealt with in the past. And boy, this time it’s a doozy, right?

Never had anything like this before, no idea how to deal!

Now, here’s the thing that doesn’t help: comparing yourself with the problems others have faced.

We know full well that other people, at other times, have successfully – sometimes even effortlessly – dealt with even bigger problems.

Victor Frankl’s imprisonment in a concentration camp, for example. Came out pretty well that dude, it seems.

So do I mean to say ‘others have it worse’ and tell you to man (woman/trans) up?

Nope. Because when you look at Frankl’s problem, you’re making the wrong comparison.

He was he, and he had *that* problem. And you are not he, nor do you have the same problem.

But think: what do you and Frankl have in common?

You’re both human.

And humans are magnificently talented and capable problem-solvers.

It’s built into our genes, otherwise we’d never have survived this long.

And you’re human: you too are a factory-built, highly specialised problem-solving machine.

So compare your current problem, to the extremely large innate ability to deal with the situation.

An ability that exists in you whether you believe it or not.

A very, very, VERY big ability.

Much bigger than that problem you’re facing, correct?

Aha… now we’re making an interesting – and useful – comparison, aren’t we?

Seen in this light, there’s no reason why a problem couldn’t be something you deal with efficiently.

You were born with the ability to do so, and it’s only your mind that can prevent you from acting the part.

Meaning: to step into that role of capable problem solver, and roll up your sleeves.

When you make this comparison, you enable yourself to tap into the creativity and resourcefulness that helps you deal with the thing. And then you get busy, and deal with it.

Speaking of rolling up your sleeves:

Are you in a place where you’re ready to take massive, Growth Driving Action in your business, but you lack the clarity on where to put your energy and/or accountability?

Like, you’re all fired up and doing stuff, but you’re just not sure you’re working on the things that will have the biggest impact?

Then my new spot-coaching programme will prove very useful to you.

It’s a monthly subscription, no commitment and at a very accessible fee – and it’s designed to get your business moving forward and increasing revenue fast by focussing on the highest-leverage actions your business needs.

Each week we meet for a laser-focused, action-oriented call, to get you and keep you moving and create growth.

Get in touch for more information about how it works…

Cheers,

​Martin

Something’s Been Bothering Me, and I Think I Have a Solution…

Normally, coaching is a high-commitment, in-depth process that involves a lot of psychology – working on mindset etc.

It’s process designed to guide you into permanent change, for the better.

But that high level of commitment also comes with an investment – usually four figures to work with a coach on such a deep level for an extended period of time (3 months or more, usually).

And that is an obstacle to many of my readers: not everyone has the funds to invest on such a scale.

This has been bothering me to no end, and for a while now.

I meet so many wonderful and talented creative entrepreneurs and artists… and more often than not, money becomes the stumbling block.

Not that I’m ‘doing it for the money’ (ha!), but because an in-depth coaching programme means I get really involved, and am there for you whenever you need me. It’s intense and consumes a lot of my time – in terms of sessions, thinking about client situations and questions, giving email support, extra calls etc. It just isn’t possible to provide such an in-depth programme at reduced rates.

But that money thing… plus, the fact that many people just don’t have a need for – or aren’t ready for – exploring the inner workings of the mind, it means that lots of people I could help end up not being able to work with me. And that sucks.

I’ve thought long and hard about how to create a service that is affordable, effective and personalised – but without requiring a long-term commitment and investment from you, while at the same time compensating me sufficiently. Good for both of us, in other words.

And I’ve found it.

Introducing: Month-by-month growth coaching.

This is a brand new service that only a few people have enjoyed so far, and from the results I see, it’s effective.

So now I’m releasing it to the public.

It’s a different kind of coaching, in that we don’t stop to dive deep – instead, we focus specifically on actions you need to take in your business.

The important actions, the big ones that drive growth.

Here’s how the programme works:

Each week we meet for 15 minutes to set your goals for that week, and to review your progress in the past week.

Once a month we meet for an hour, so that you get the time and space to ask questions, or get feedback on your plans and progress, for example.

You’ll also get email access to me, for whatever questions you have: I’ll be on your team, ready to help you on a nearly daily basis (weekdays only).

This is a monthly subscription service, with no long-term commitment, and at a price point that puts coaching in reach of far more people… maybe you?

The exact price depends a little – you might want some modifications to the programme I described, so it’s a matter of talking about what you most need, and then we’ll arrange for a fee that suits us both.

In any case, the monthly investment will be well below the $500 mark, probably more around $300. But we’ll see once we talk.

Tell me if it sounds good: Weekly action, progress and business growth coaching… with no commitments, at an extremely affordable price… I’d say it could be something for you…

Want to know more?

Let me know…

Cheers,

​Martin

Never Make the Big Decisions…

… that is, not unless you’re certain, convinced, have perfect clarity.

Another way of saying it: It’s not a decision until it’s a hell yes.

Until then – in my life at least – it’s a no.

The amount of clarity in my life simply because of this decision is staggering and SO utterly useful.

For example: this winter I had a phase of several months, where I tried to get myself to a couple of important and big decisions about my life and my career, and I just couldn’t figure out what to decide.

Normally, I would get lost in rational considerations, stuck in my mind, weighing pros and cons and wasting entirely too much energy.

Wasting energy in terms of the amount of brain-time I spend on it.

Not this time though. By now I’ve practiced the ‘absence of hell-yes equals hell-no’ attitude so extensively, I was able to let go.

I didn’t have the clarity I needed to make a decision, so I just stopped *thinking* about it.

Not that I dismissed the issues or pretended they didn’t exist…

No, I took my deliberations of it to the level of contemplation, up from the rational, fruitless, ‘think yourself to a decision’ into the level of ‘observe my thoughts and feelings about it, plus the things in my life pertaining to the issue, and wait for clarity’.

Because clarity will always come in the end, and most of the time it’s not because of thinking. And it’s never ever because of just thinking.

And you can’t force it. You just can’t think yourself to the right decision.

So when thinking ain’t enough to get you to a decision?

Stop thinking about it. Take a load off your mind, you know?

You’ve got things to do that are far more useful than running in circles in your own head.

The difference in these two attitudes is the difference between trying to shove an elephant into a cage, vs enticing and inviting him in with soft words and delicious food. Not that I think elephants belong in cages, but you get my point.

All this comes down to how you manage your energy, like I talked about in a video last week.

Because your energy (physical, emotional, mental, willpower etc) is renewable, but finite.

Only so much of it you can spend in a day.

So what big decision are you trying to get clear on…?

Three choices:

1: Continue running circles in your mind

2: Do what the monk for entrepreneurs suggests: stop *thinking* about it, and start to observe from a detached vantage point

3: Talk to said monk for entrepreneurs (hello!) because maybe, just maybe… he might be able to help you find the clarity you need, and end up with the hell-yes you’re looking for…

Big decision facing you? Talk to me…

Cheers,

​Martin

get the book

and discover how to sell the way nice people do

You’ll also receive a short daily email on ethical selling and business growth.

Get the FREE eBook...
Enter your email address and click on the Get Instant Access button.
We respect your privacy