Most everyone I work with has a big mission, something important they want to put into the world.
In fact, I deliberately seek out people who want to manifest something meaningful, something beyond ‘making a living’.
It’s what fires me up, when someone has some form of ‘a better world’ as part of their goal.
But at the same time, this ‘do-good’ attitude can also be an Achilles’ heel.
Especially when we give too much of ourselves.
Yes, I said that.
It is possible to give too much of ourselves.
Which might be odd, coming from an ex-monk who spent his life practising self-effacement and putting the other first.
But let’s face it: if you don’t put your own oxygen mask on first, how are you going to help anyone else?
You need to take care of yourself, or else none of your good intentions will have any effect.
And sadly, many people with a big passion for helping others seem unable to take care of themselves properly.
You know: the Mother Theresa complex – where something tells you that you need to give give give, no matter the cost or the return.
And out you go, serving and giving and helping – and you come home empty and depleted.
So should we become selfish?
Not in the least.
The thing to do when your desire to change the world isn’t working?
First: give to matchers and givers, and be very careful not to give to takers.
Because takers keep it for themselves, instead of sharing forward or giving back.
Give to people who want your help.
Listen for the call, the request, the sign that – spoken or unspoken – says: Can you help me?
Because when you give and help to people who aren’t looking for help, aren’t receptive, what will happen?
You burn out, is what.
And believe me, I’ve spent many years making that mistake.
All the time forcing help onto others, when those people just had no need or interest or receptivity.
And it resulted in nothing but fatigue.
Thing is, we’re not a one-man religion.
It’s not our purpose to convert the entire world to accepting our help, like some sort of missionary-movement.
So sometimes, you need to call in the missionaries.
That’s my term for ‘stop giving without aim, take care of self, and give deliberately and purposefully’.
When you do that, when you ‘call in the missionaries’, you can truly give, and truly help, those who are looking for help.
Are you looking for help?
Then I’m here for you.