The Best Way to Get People’s Help, Purchase, or Support

Everything is easier when others are on our side, help our cause, contribute to our mission.

Whether you want to raise awareness about pollution, get your team to perform better, improve communication between your teams or you want a buyer to say yes and become the owner of your thing:

You need others to buy in to the vision that you have.

You need others to enroll in your vision, in order to contribute to your mission.

And most people completely sabotage their efforts.

“You should eat your veggies, it’s good for you!”

“I think you ought to buy my course or book or webdesign or SEO services – it’ll solve exactly the problems you just described”.

“Together we can start a movement to clean up the oceans. We need you to join us”.

See the pattern? (And: are you one of the very very few people who never make that kind of mistake?)

In all these examples, it’s about what you think would be best for the other.

And sorry, but nobody likes to be told what to do, or what’s best for them.

Communicate as above, and you’ll directly work against your mission, whatever form it may have, because it’s push, and it’s pushy.

It’s this attitude that has given ‘selling’ a bad name.

Instead, try the opposite: create a way for others to want to be pulled in.

People love to buy (or buy in, if it’s about a ‘sale’ that doesn’t involve money), but everyone loathes being sold to.

When you can create a vision in the other, of a kind and intensity that they want to be part of or step into, it’s that vision that will pull them in.

It’s a much nicer, more ethical, and far more effective way to get people to help us further our cause.



Random (or Deliberate?) Acts of Service

A warm day in Granada, bustling streets, beautiful people. I step onto a zebra crossing and see a girl on her hands and knees, middle of the road, frantically reaching left and right. Just outside of her reach: her eyeglasses. I’m about to move towards her and help, when someone else quickly bends over, grabs […]

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Selling? Try Mindmeld Instead

Got an email this morning, from one of my readers who scheduled an appointment to help me with my research in product market fit, asking how do we connect? Phone, skype, telepathy, mindmeld? Made me laugh, but then I thought about it. It’s actually really serious. (In case you don’t know, mindmeld is an ability […]

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Value x Audience Equals…

Could be, you think I’ve gone over to the dark side, what with all this talk about selling stuff. Is everything about money? Absolutely not. There’s only one thing that everything is about, as far as I’m concerned, and that’s Love (capital L intentional) ‘Selling’ – or enrolling – is really about exchanging things of […]

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The Unspoken “What’s In It For Me?”

“Hey Martin, how about you become our product manager?” I smiled, and said: “Nah, but thanks though”. The product was good: security software. And he and his wife weren’t offering me a contract job, but something more on an advisory basis. Easy to combine with my coaching practice. I liked both of them, and since […]

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Mandela, Ghandi, MLK & Lincoln: some of the BEST salespeople in the world

If you struggle with the idea of selling because you think it’s wrong, unethical or manipulative – or the biggest problem of all: that it doesn’t align with your values: I wrote this one for you. Because yes, the names in the subject header each were phenomenally good salespeople. Even Jesus was a terrific salesman. […]

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The Cure For Impatience

There’s no easy way to say this, but… The cure for impatience comes down to the decision to get over oneself. Or, put more gently: to apply some humility. Because impatience has at its core a form of self-importance. Impatience comes from the idea that things ought to be different, and be in accordance with […]

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Announcement About Changes to These Articles

You might remember that last year, I wrote many emails about the workings and application of a training programme I was creating – which I then proceeded to completely not launch. (It was the ‘Calibrate Reality’ framework, which I recently decided to rename to ‘Stellar Edge’) And today I decided to shelve the entire thing […]

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How to Sell Things and Still Sleep at Night

“Oh if you like that, you should totally watch Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”, said my mastermind buddy. I wasn’t feeling it – I mean I like Star Trek just fine, but it never impacted me as much as some other scifi shows and films. He went on: “I really like it as a show […]

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The Price of Success (Are You Paying Too Much?)

Everybody with ‘more than two fingers of forehead’, as they say in Spain, knows that in order to get something, you’ll need to do something. Even if you believe the universe owes you success and you just need to ask for it (ludicrous notion), you *still* need to show up. In other words: there’s a […]

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